


Lie to me

by Ceandre



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AND THE WAR, Alternate Universe, Fluff, Lawyer Sam, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Past Character Death, Samifer - Freeform, Samifer Big Bang 2017, Sassy Sam Winchester, Scars, Spanking, Too much fluff, Undercover Agent Lucifer, Undercover Missions, a lot of scars, angst who happen suddenly, lucifer being cute, lucifer's good choices for dates places, sex happen, with the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 01:45:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12446872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceandre/pseuds/Ceandre
Summary: Sam blushed, absolutely horrified by how the situation turned. I'm not a damn child, you dick. He thought with conviction. Nick and not Dick, said the name on his uniform's card, looked at him with the kind of smile that an adult gave to a particularly turbulent but cute child who's just fallen from a sidewalk. The kind of smile that makes you want to bend the torso and scream with rage, which actually is a very childish behavior.





	1. Chapter one: I had a dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. This is the first writing I do in English of more than 500 words. I want to thank Briefly who beta this fanfiction, even if I am the worst. I put you through a lot of bullshit with this, especially in the end of it. I'm very glad of what you did, I was so affraid of doing it. You helped me a lot, so thank you again.
> 
> Some of the part of the fic has been changed, and they are still not beta. My fault. Totally.
> 
> The art for this bigbang can be found here: https://lux-tuli.dreamwidth.org/28453.html Thank to you for these cute drawing.

**Chapter one: I had a dream**

  
  


It could be the kind of hot summer with a great sun rising up in the sky but no, Sam got the unbearable sweaty heat that you find in any enclosed and crowded room. If Dean was already enjoying himself by flirting with a few young women, Sam was in total despair while he was waiting for his brother to be soaked enough, so he can run away unsee. Like if it was not enough that he was overwhelmed from morning to night by his works, his brother had to steal his sleep.

 

_ Give me back my precious, so precious hours. You traitor. _ He thought with a deep sigh.

 

He knew Dean did not think bad about it, certain in his soul that every human normally constituted decompressed only with sex.  _ But really? After all, this time can't you at least realized you are the only one to have fun? _

 

Sam knocked the bar several times with his hand, looking full of hope to see the glow of alcohol come and shine into the green eyes of his big brother. He jerked slightly when he heard a grunt and looked up. The bartender stared at him expectantly with a little bored expression on his face and Sam realized that his gesture had to be seen as a rather rude call for a drink. He felt a sharp embarrassment burning his chest and raised his hands in a soothing movement. He was astonished by his excessive reaction but put it on his education, a Winchester did not like being taken by surprise.

 

The rush hit him. “I'm sorry. I didn't-”  _ Really? Am I spluttering now? Man up Sam. _ “It wasn't...” His stuttering did not want to stop and the man probably saved him out of pity.

 

The voice came loud and full of tease. “S'okay. I have it. You're all stressed and dumping it on that poor plank. Don't panic.”

 

Sam blushed, absolutely horrified by how the situation turned.  _ I'm not a damn child, you dick. _ He thought with conviction. Nick and not Dick, said the name on his uniform's card, looked at him with the kind of smile that an adult gave to a particularly turbulent but cute child who's just fallen from a sidewalk. The kind of smile that makes you want to bend the torso and scream with rage, which actually is a very childish behavior.

 

Nick rolled his shoulders gently as he takes a closer stare at the -wedding material- in front of him. The man was literally affected by the situation and Nick was more amused than he should be by the sight of a human mountain trying to fit into a burrow. He couldn't stop his brain.  _ Bloody hell, all cute and shy. But really, how you survived to school? It's like having a damn target on his forehead. _ He could have been behaving, but Nick was so bored and the man had annoyed him a little to tap on the counter constantly.

 

“Little boys grow so tall these days... That's what alcohol do to a child?”

 

_ And wow, that's a look. _ Nick raised an eyebrow at the killer glare and smiled just like if it was a compliment. He almost expected to see the man shouting between anger and embarrassment but he just turned his head and took a deep breath.

 

“Maybe I deserve the first one but you don't have to keep it on.” The voice was stable this time and Nick made a small sound, kind of disappointed.

 

“Alright, you're a tough one and I'm almost sorry to make fun of you.”

 

The man tensed a little as if he was preparing to posture, a slight smile on his lips betraying a hint of amusement. Nick vaguely turned his face toward the rest of the bartenders to see if he could continue to dawdle a bit. When he comes back on the man he was staring at him too.

 

“You do not have a job to do-” His eyes goes for the badge for a moment. “Nick?”

 

“I call it a break, or are you gonna take some liquid courage, no name?”

 

Sam grabbed his wallet, deciding against any reason to stay a little bit longer than expected. He put it on one knee and laughed a little. “Name's Sam. And I don't need alcohol. Anything that you can call healthy here?”

 

Nick turned his face at an angle who gave him the look of a curious bird. “Yes, of course. I bring you that.”

 

Sam watched Nick from his seat. He looks the blond streaks scattered in all directions and get to the back. It seemed rather large compared to the norm at least and he tries to guess the size.  _ A 6 or 6.1 maybe. Seems as tall as Dean, but stronger. _ He stares on the belly, slightly bounced and eventually returned to Nick's face dotted with some wrinkles. When Nick put a glass in front of him they were eyes to eyes and Sam found surprising that the blue was so lively despite the darkness of the bar. He grabbed his glass and took a sip before coughing quickly.

 

“Do- Do you just give me water?”

 

Sam wants to get angry, like really, but when he raised his head Nick's honest and kind smile stopped him immediately. He knows exactly what was going on later, when Nick gave him the same look Dean gave to women and he could take the flirt, even used to it. He did not really respond to sass and tease, all the outrageous ways. But this smile was not expected, a simple moment of complicity. It's different, not the smile you usually get when someone tries to hit on you. It was the same smile that Jess gave to him and he always fell for that.

 

Hands on the bar, Nick could not help smiling. Since the beginning of his mission, he had been bored to death. It was an easy peasy thing. Get employed at the operation's center, a dirty bar and be friendly as hell until they make a mistake. Honestly the less dangerous mission he had in his whole life and really, really boring. Awful loud music, drunk people, stupid womanizer, all the pity flirt. And here, when all the projects were about to end he was falling on an adorable giant.  _ You made my day, you moose. _ He thought with joy.

 

For few seconds he stroked the idea about how he could push the slight flirt to a complete hot drag in order to bring Sam into his bed tonight. Except it was not his bed. There was no real things about him in the cold apartment he lived in for now. Nothing real that he could tell, false story, false memories, false human being.  _ Okay, not that bright anymore. I should stop thinking like that. Bad brain. _

 

He was about to stop this situation when a man came to Sam with his eyes folded and suspicious. “All good Sammy?” He did not have to think long, the face of Dean Winchester was printing for several months on the walls of the secret operations so he could recognize the man with a single glance. Every little thing suddenly changed and Nick was not sure he liked it.

 

“We're talking Dean. Don't get in your big bro mood.” Obviously, Sam was not happy to be interrupted.

 

Nick immediately put on his best flirty smile and winked at Sam, outrageously sassy. “Yeah Dean, we're just talking about if Sammy here needs your authorization for sucking my dick. So can he?” He escaped the punch by quickly stepping backward, smiling and admired the strength that Sam showed in keeping his brother down. He shrugged with a laugh as he noticed the look of Sam.  _ Worth it. _ “That was too much?”

 

Dean shouted some insanity and pulled away from his brother's grasp before breathing heavily. “Are you going to let him say that? He's an asshole!”

 

Nick nodded. “Can't deny it.”  _ And so you are. _

 

“Don't be that proud of you.” Whimpered Sam, frowning between annoyed and amused. “Damn Dean! Just took a joke without freaking out.” Before Nick could say anything, he kept going. “And you, stop antagonize my brother.”

 

Everybody in the room was looking at them and the Moose here did not like it, so Nick called it off. “Okay. Here, your drinks are on me.” He also wrote his number on a card and put it in front of Sam. “Call me.” He smirked. “Then I can apologize.”

 

Sam took the sass in it but let it go and put the paper in his jacket's pocket. He smiles gently and grabbed Dean by the arm.

 

When there gone and his job done, Nick get to the apartment, a solid -don't bother me- look on his face. He sat on the bed and took his phone.

 

“Hey fox, I got something. So I was in some flirt with that cute guy and it happens by the cock block law that he is the brother of Dean Winchester. Yes. Yes. I hope he gonna call. This job is almost done and I need the authorization for getting to the next. Of course, I'm not okay. I don't like to screw with people like that but I really think this is the best way we got. The last guy the boss got inside get killed it's become kinda urgent. Send me the answer quickly, need to talk with Crowley. Yes, good night too, Charly.”

 

_ How did it went this wrong so fast? _


	2. Chapter two: That I am on the good side

Chapter two: That I am on the good side

  
  


The night was almost shadowing the city and Nick prepared his stuff to go at work when he received his first message from Sam. He had waited restless two weeks for it.

 

[Hi. It's Sam.]

 

Nick immediately entered the number in his repertory.  _ Of course, it's you. This is a private line.  _ He weighed the pros and cons before finally responding something playful.

 

[Hi, princess. Work times, what are you doing?]

 

When he had refused any information about Sam's life his superiors had panicked, no doubt with reason. It had taken many hours of debate before he had the last word. Nick knows his work and it is easier to get to know someone without doing research on him before, specially when you're trying to reach the relationship goal.  _ Already see agent screw a cover by knowing things that they should not know. Was messy. _ He remembered.

 

[I'm not a princess, jerk. It's my day off, I do nothing but rest.]

 

Nick smiled slightly on his road to the bar. He had waited too long for this discussion but even now, the phone in his and the joy to talk with Mr. Handsome, he was not happy with the turn of the events.  _ I should show him some interest, a little flaw maybe. _ He thought at he open the bar's door.

 

[Yes, you are. Your hair literally shine, glitter and glitter.  
    You must groom them like three hours every morning.   
No wonder why you didn't answer sooner, should be exhausting.]

 

[You really think that I'm not gonna answers, right?]

 

[Eventually. You know, after seven days no one does, so two weeks…]

 

[I was really busy at work. Sorry.]

  
  


Behind the counter, Nick watched his targets. The group was sitting in a corner of the bar, speaking silently while the chief of the troop as stood with him and slowly drank his beer.

 

[You can be. And you're eluding. Princess.]

 

    [Stop calling me that. And no.   
For the record, I don't do anything with my hair. Let them alone.]

 

[But they look so soft. This is magic. ]

 

“You seem pretty happy here, Nick.” The man said in a low voice and Nick just jerked his shoulders.

 

“I got an answer from a handsome thing.”

 

“Uh?”

 

_ Damn, you are so boring. Let me alone. _ “I meet him here, like two weeks ago. He's a sassy one.”

 

“I forgot you're into dudes.”

 

Nick chuckles with humour. “That's the word.”

 

“You said it. Things are always up for tonight? I didn't have news from James, did he comes here?”

 

He raised his face and put his phone back in his pocket.  _ So bad or good news, Evan?  _ “No. Wanna Vince to check it? He could do the job, right? He knew the place after all.”

 

Evan looked at him for few seconds and grimaced. “Yeah. Yeah he could. The only thing he can do, too stupid for anything else. I keep you in touch if there's any change.”

 

Nick nodded and watched him go, eyes folded. His phone vibrated several times in the inside pocket of his jacket.  _ Duty calls.  _ He thought with a frown. He could not check now, not in front of the group at least. Obviously the problem did not come either from his colleagues or from the happy idiots in the bar who thought they could run a network of prostitutions so bad organized.  _ Maybe an issue with a girl. _ He picked up his private phone, a little agitated and looked at this messages.

 

[They are.

And no. You can't touch them if you are wondering.]

 

The smile who raised on Nick's face was not faked at all.

 

[You break my heart.]

 

[I'm so contrite, I didn't notice that you had one.]

 

[I really like you. You got the sass.]

 

[That was straight.]

 

[Did you blush?]

 

[You'll never know.]

 

[Fair enough, unicorn.]

 

[... What's wrong with you and the nicknames?]

 

[How can you deny such a part of my affection?]

 

[Easily.]

 

[Right. How do you want to be called?]

 

[Sam is great.]

 

[Sammy?]

 

[There's no way.]

 

[You just killed all the fun. Right, Sam. But I'll not give up.]

 

[Thank you.]

 

[So. SAM. What's the job that gets you so busy?]

 

[I'm a lawyer. I just began one year ago. Lot of books to read and work to do.]

 

[No newby in the court except if they're almost dead under all the research?]

 

[Dead I am.]

 

[And you take the time to talk to me. I'm touched.]

 

[You make me reconsidering it.]

 

[No you don't.]

 

[I do. But just because I'm really tired, can't even see right.]

 

[Are you a five years old? Go to bed, you brat.]

 

[Wow. That's was such…]

 

[Don't dare writing it.]

 

[Sure daddy. Not a word.]

 

[Damn you. Be a good boy for Daddy and go to bed.]

 

When he had no answer Nick nodded slightly in approbation and continued to work while watching the group in the corner of his eyes. It had been two hours already and Vince had not yet returned, everyone was starting to worry and became impatient. He went to take the empty glasses at the table and patted Evan’s shoulder. “No news?” He asked with a soft tone. The man shook his head negatively and Nick moves his hand in a sign of support that he did not feel at all.

 

“Don’t be too much worried. Still no one betrayed you the network is secure. And really, I don’t see these dumbass do a such thing.”

 

The traffic was new and weak but Evan was a complete paranoid, for good reasons. Nick was in for something like three months and he had not see the place yet. Four or five time he get to pass a girl at another man in a building, always different places and guys. That was the major problem, deplacement are difficult to follow.

 

Evan look at him and sigh. “We wait one hour, no more. The I have to move on.” Nick nodded his head.  _ Do that, you gonna be so easy to hunt freaking bastard.  _ He thought with rage. “Alright, Boss.”

 

Unfortunately, Vince came back about ten minutes later, scared. “Boss, we got a problem.”  _ Yeah ape, can you be more obvious?  _ “Red get away. We can’t find her.”  _ And wow, that’s good. _

 

Evan got up quickly from his seat, tensed and angry. “How in hell she escaped?” Vince swallowed and stepped back. “He-He fucked up boss. T-try to-to have hiiis w-way...” The poor idiot stammered and Nick could see that the situation was going to disintegrate very fast. He interposed quickly.

 

“Calm down. James gonna be punished but later. We need to find her first, just imagine how bad it could be if the police find her. We need every single people on it. And now.” Then Nick remembered, put a servile look and turned his face to Evan. “Does it sound good to you boss?”

 

It was. After a few hours, he finally returned to the apartment and sank down on his couch. He retrieved the phone hidden in his jacket and opened it.

 

[Nick. Gotta good news. District police found a girl. Looks like she’s one of the

    mission. We need feedback. We are beginning to prepare the rescue procedure.]

 

He sighed and collapsed on the bed, relieved.

 

[Same girl. Keep her safe. The group are in town for her. I’ll send you the position,

    name and description of everyone. Evan lets every pieces of information out in his

    freak out. I’ll start the report after that. Keep me in touch.]

 

When his work was finished he dived under his sheets like a blessed man and frowned as he saw his second phone turned on.

 

[WTH!STOP THAT SHIT ASSSSHOLE!!!!]

 

[You’re the brother right?]

 

[FUCK OFF YOU DICK]

 

[That’s childish. Sam is old enough to make his own choices.

    This is just you being very very weird.]

 

    [WO cares get away fom him]

 

    [Of course.]

 

    [Yeah?]

 

    [If he asks for it.]

 

    [Uhh u bitch]

 

    [Are you drunk? I can’t believe it. Bye.]

 

When Nick got up the next day it was the afternoon and a dozen messages awaited him. He just sigh in despair and made a cup of tea, then basked himself on the sofa with a very unhappy sound.

 

[U r bad

Jerk

Damn sty away u butt

wun this]

 

The next messages were different. Obviously after that drunk part Sam get his phone back in the morning. Nick had not answered for more than seven hours and Sam seemed totally panicked.  _ So self-conscious. Sounds good Sammy.  _ Nick laugh in his mind. With a soft smile he read again the texts and reply.

 

[Oh my god. I’m sorry Nick.

I was sleeping.

I’m really, really sorry. Like totally embarrassed. He gonna heard about it.

Nick?

I mean it. Let me catch this.

We can hang out. I’m not difficult, coffee, bar, cinema?

Well maybe not bar, but still. Nick?]

 

[Do that implies sexual favor?]

 

[Damn no. You make me freak out. Thought Dean make you run away.]

 

[But, I want to pet your hair.]

 

[No. And this is not a sexual thing.]

 

[Depends where’s your head.]

 

[That’s harassment you know?]

 

[Do you mind? It’s a real question Sam. I’m a big boy, I can take a no.

    If you don’t like it you should say no.]

 

    [You’re just being sassy.]

 

    [Well Dean annoyed me as hell. If I had gun I’d shot him.   
All right to being sassy.]

 

    [Kinda agressive here.]

 

    [Yes. And I bite. And yeah, this is a kinky thing.]

 

    [Okay, okay. So, either you had a bad day or a very great one.]

 

    [The best of the best. Except the brother thing.]

 

    [What happened?]

 

    [I take a cutie on a date. That’s my lucky day.]

 

    [You will never stop?]

 

    [Eventually. Pick a day, darling.]

 

    [No. Just no.]

 

    [But, you said that you mean it.]

 

    [Omg. Next Friday. I’m free around 5pm.]

 

    [Good. The cinema, the one with the big pink wall, in the center? 5:30pm?]

 

    [Okay. See you here then.]

 

   [No, I’m gonna send my clone.]

 

   [Are we gonna argue about Star Wars?]

 

   [No. No. But I’m happy to date a nerd.

   Could you bring glasses?]

 

   [I’m leaving this conversation right now. Have a good day.]

 

  [You too Sam.]

 

Nick put his phone down, smiling softly, and laid down more comfortably on the sofa. He yawned for a long time and closed his eyes recalcitrant at the idea of going to work. His report was sent but he still had to have a meeting with the chief of operations as well as prepared the rest of his new mission.

 

He almost despaired at the idea of staying in the bar and living in the apartment longer. Nick hated with all his heart the little dark place, empty of all life, where his superior had placed him during the last weeks. He was already thinking with an undisguised joy of all the little personal belongings he could bring back now that he should get a person outside the federal activities in his nest. He would be even more delighted if he could change location and get closer to the Winchester area at the same time.

 

He frowned and decided to get ready. Half an hour later and his arguments well memorized he went to work with his mind lot of hopeful though.  _ Brighter place. Better place. Nice place. Light, light, light. I’m gonna have a good place. _


	3. Chapter three : The side of love

**Chapter three : The side of love**

 

It was with a smile well in place and totally revitalized that Nick returned to his new home. He had fought tooth and nail and as usual, won the fight. Of course, Charly had smiled all the time behind her computer, already prepared to create and protect his new identity, while Crowley was on the road to crazy town.  _ It was to wonder how this tiny man manage to arrive so high in the hierarchy. _

 

Nick was rather proud of himself, as he often said the best covers were those where you did not need to lie. In view of the military past of John Winchester, he would keep his own in the special forces. He would not have to hide his scars, not have to lie about his name and no fear about the research Dean could do on his creepy past. Nick even exulted in advance, anticipating guilt on the man’s face. Also, his work at the bar was only to wait for his new position as a military science lecturer, which would give him more free time.

 

The highlight of the show was this beautiful semi-detached house converting into two apartments. A house. He not had this luxury since his mission in a gun sales network three years ago. That’s why even when lifting another piece of furniture Nick continued to smile despite the sweat and his supplicating fingers for a better grip.  _ Got a house. I got a freaking pretty house.  _ He thought with joy.

 

When the whole house was empty of human beings and filled with furnitures and boxes instead, he collapsed on the sofa and sighed happily by sinking into the cushions.  _ Fluffy, warm and cozy. _ The next time he opened his eyes his phone blinked wildly and vibrated on the coffee table.

 

His alarm signaled 5pm, he had fallen asleep for more than two hours and his appointment was in 30 minutes, the exact time it took to get to the center if traffic was bad. He rushed out, went inside again, taking his keys and wallet this time and went back into his car. On the way he grimaced, his clothes were old and worn, perfect for house work, but not to go out with Mr. Handsome, without counting the sweat and the smell going along.

 

Nick saw Sam first, across the street. The young man had dressed simply but nicely, jeans, plaid shirt, and a jacket which made Nick even more aware of himself. He approached him, his hands in his pockets and could not help but to let appeared his stress. Sam turned and looked a little astonished. Nick shrugged his shoulders, embarrassed.

 

"Hi, Sam." As long as there was no remark Nick could almost breathe calmly.

 

Sam smiled softly. "Hi. What's up? You look- "Nick tensed. "-kinda tired." And immediately relaxed with a chuckle.

 

"I moved into a new place today. Do not have the time for a change so, hm, sorry for that." He said, pointing to himself with his finger. When he raised his face, he fell on Sam, biting his lips so as not to laugh. "What?"

 

"Nothing." Sam replied, still smiling more than he should have.

 

"What? Tell me! "

 

"It's just. Just- I did not take you for that kind of man. "

 

Nick frowned and moved uncomfortably. "What kind? Come on."

 

"Look at you, you're all self-conscious because of your outfit! That's ... that's actually cute."

 

For a few seconds, Nick remained silent and motionless on the sidewalk. Then he leaned his head lightly and slowly. "Cute." Was all he said, in a flat voice.

 

Sam swallowed suddenly. "I did not mean it in a bad way, really- Wait. Are you? Yes, you're totally mocking me."

 

"I did not mean being cute. Cute is good. Come on we’re gonna be late. " He said, smiling, as he began to walk.

 

"We're not going to see a movie?"

 

Nick turned his head as he watched Sam coming up to him. "No, we're not."

 

"So what?"

 

"You don’t like surprises?"

 

"Not that much. Really. "

 

"Look here." Said Nick, pointing at a large contemporary structure in the distance. "It's an aquarium. Not the kind that just keeps fishes. It is also a research and rescue center. A lot of animals here are hurt and they heal them. I wanna see it. "

 

Sam blinked several times as he moved forward. "You like fishes?"

 

"You sound, surprised."

 

There was a laugh. "I am. Again, I did not take you for that kind of man. "

 

They reached the entrance of the building and Nick took out two tickets from his wallet. He did not look away from the alley when asking his question. "And what kind of man do you think I am?"

 

"A smart and funny asshole."

 

The honest answer surprised Nick a little and he turned to face the other man. His hands clutched the guide of the aquarium awkwardly. “How I'm supposed to take that?” He did not let Sam answer. “Are you saying that an asshole can’t be cute and likes animals or are you saying that I am still a smart, funny asshole who in addition likes animals and being cute?” He looked away immediately and stared at the windows, patting gently on one where a sea urchin was fixed.

 

Sam moved closer to the pool, overlooking Nick from his height. He blew on the blond hair. "The second one." There was humor in the tone.

 

"Again, you hurt my feelings. Hey, look. Here, they have turtles. "

 

“No, I do not. You like antagonizing people." Sam grabbed Nick's arm. "Come on, I want to see them. I like turtles."

 

Nick followed with a very stupid smile on his face.  _ Eventually, everything goes pretty well. _

 

When they came out of the aquarium it was dark and Nick's stomach was begging for food. Nick ignored his hunger with some sadness, his eyes fixed on his hand clasped in Sam's slightly bigger and gentler one. He was trying to remember when they had started behaving like teenagers. All the date had passed in a cottony cloud and a maniac edge of his mind reminded him that it was only a mission. _ Mission. Mission. Mission. _ His eyes followed their fingers entwined, lingered on Sam's wrist, then his arm and shoulder, to follow the curve of the neck stretched disappearing under a mass of brown hair. He scraped his throat.

 

"I'm hungry." His voice sounded low and pasty. "I should go home. Wanna a ride to your house?" Sam gently rubbed his fingers in his palm and a shiver ran up his back.

 

"Yeah. Why not. "

 

The ride to bring Sam home was silent, just interrupted by the young man's directions. He stopped in front of a rather pretty and well-kept house. Nick closed his eyes as he felt a hand resting on his chest and he caught himself in his seat. When a pair of lips first settled on his cheek and then on his mouth he replied lazily. he clasped his hands violently on his seat and his steering wheel.  _ Mission. Mission. Mission. Nick. inhale. Mission. Mission. It's just a mission. _ Then he sent his brain to get screw and grabbed Sam's neck while kissing him keenly, eagerly. He pulled the brown hair several times into the process and there were a few vengeful bites between their breaths. Then Nick stepped back, staring at Sam's red lips. "So, it was a great date?"

 

Sam laughed deeply and nodded then sat down on his seat. "See you later?" He asked as he got out of the car.

 

"Yeah, I'll text you."

 

Nick received a smile when the door slammed shut, he watched as the man went to the door of the house and came in, then he started the car with a sigh.

 

When he was at home, he sat on his magnificent, beautiful and comfortable couch with a warm plate in his hands. He allowed himself to light up his second phones. He looked for a few seconds the desired contact and pressed to call. The bell rang three times before an excited voice answered.

 

“Charly, here for listening to everything you have to give.”

 

“Mh. Nice to hear you fox.”

 

“You too, even if you sound- strange. More than usual. Where is your sass gone?”

 

“Inside the terrible mouth of a Winchester.”

 

“Oh, God. You didn’t say what I think you said,  right?”

 

“I think that to kiss him is literally my job.”

 

“No. Not that. The terrible part.”

 

“Oh- No. He is a great kisser.”

 

“Come on. Give me something, you tease.”

 

Nick choked on a little laugh. “A fucking amazing kisser. If I didn't have to play well I could have let him bang me right in this freaking car.”

 

“You don’t let people bang you, Nick.”

 

“Yeah, eventually I’d bang him.” He heard a laugh on the other end of the line and get on with her. “But he got few points for trying.”

 

“Here we go. Details!”

 

“Like, he put his hand on my chest when I stopped the car- and he got some force, held me tight against my seat.”

 

“Trying to restrain you? What a big boy.”

 

“Pushed me back and bit when I dared to touch his precious hair. He’s good.”

 

“Nick-”

 

“Yes?”

 

“You really do like him right?”

 

“Can I lie?”

 

“Well you’re gonna have to restrain yourself. Behave a little, you Devil.”

 

“Yes, ma’am. Do handjobs are out of option too?”

 

“He totally put you in a horny mood. What a good boy.”

 

“I take that as a yes.”

 

“You know the rules. Date one: Kisses. Date two: Handjob. Date three: Blowjob.”

 

“I like you.”

 

“Now you’re happy for your libido, go get some rest and let adults work.”

 

“Yes, ma’am. Night’.”

 

“Goodnight, Devil.”

 

And really, Nick had a lot of hope for the date three. He grabbed his fork and started to eat, making a pleasing sound to the warm food. When he finished the plate, he ran into his bathroom for finally get out all the sweat of the day. Clean, happy and tired he fell on his bed without a thought and took his phone.

 

   [You’re a good kisser.]

 

Then, proud of himself, he just put the phone on the nightstand and said hello to the Sandman.


	4. Chapter four: The side of truth

**Chapter four: The side of truth**

 

Nick did not like to get out of his bed. It does not matter if it is the morning or not, he always felt a bit elsewhere, limit sick, for the first half hour after being awake. He plunged sadly into his couch, waiting to get better. It was not a good situation when you are in the army, often obliged to speed from the first foot out of bed. Now, he enjoyed the right to be lazy.

 

He started the classes at the end of the week and had to prepare his cards, yet he continued to fix his phone with sadness. Sam had not replied and he hesitated to send a message a little more advanced than the previous one. Just for good measure. He rolled several times in his bed, sulky and finally decided.

 

[I’m good with my tongue.]

 

Four hours later he still not had any answers and he get a little upset.

 

[I swear, I can take you all in, in one move. And yes, I’m gonna be more explicit still

you’re ignoring me.]

[Blowjobs turn me on. Hard.]

[I like when I’m forced to swallow.]

[And I’m good at it. Can get you off like a teenager.]

 

He was playing with his phone at the end of the day, throwing it in the air and catching it before it hit the ground, sitting between countless boxes.  _ Bored. _ He jumped when the phone vibrated in the air.

 

[God Nick. I was at work, I don’t ignore you.]

 

[I hope so. Sorry, I was kinda bored. Boxes aren’t good company.]

 

[Find yourself an occupation.]

 

[I found one,  dirty text things to you.]

 

[I prefer if you said it to me than texted it to me. And no, that’s not an occupation, not

a healthy one at least.]

 

[But, If I told you that I wanted to suck your dick hard until you come in my throat you

would have hit my face.]

 

[Maybe because it was our first date.]

 

[So it’s okay for the second?]

 

[Damn, Nick.]

 

[Is it a yes?]

 

[Do you need help with the boxes?]

 

Nick blinked several times and looked at the message a second time, then a third. He put his free hand on his knee and squeezed it a little, unsure. The phone made another sound, he looked at the new message.

 

[Address.]

 

He knew perfectly well that it was outside the rules and that he really should not do that. After all, there was always a risk, Sam could know for his brother, could even be involved with the traffic. It was absolutely stupid and Nick still gave him his address.

 

The anticipation slowly rose under expectation twisted is belly and even before the bell rang he was already breathing more strongly. The four meters he had to go to his front door were interminable and each steps resonated at the same rhythm than his heart. He can’t help it but though it was a bad idea. He turned the handle slowly, opened and let Sam walk a few steps into the room before closing the door violently and the distance between him and his goal.

 

He heard vaguely a "Hey Nick" in the background of his mind and gripped the hips in front of him forcefully before dropping to his knees. His eyes remained fixed on his hands as he quickly unbuttoned Sam's pants and he heard his own breathing cut off when he noticed that Sam was going commando. He felt more than he saw two hands grab his hair and moaned softly. Sam was obviously excited and Nick did not hesitate for a second before putting his tongue on the tip of the half-erect sex and swallowing the full length until he buried his nose in the short brown curls.

 

"Fuck Nick."

 

He moaned, low and excited and nodded. Slowly he looked, dilated pupils, Sam's pink face and opened his mouth, wrapping his tongue around the wet and red glans. He gently sucked the tip a few seconds and withdrew with an indecent noise. "I promised." He said hoarsely and brokenly. Sam narrowed his eyes and when Nick saw him swallowed, get down it whole, opening his mouth as much as he could and slipping until the end hit the bottom of his throat. Nick felt his eyes moistened as he tensed his whole body, Sam's dick was big and choked him in the most pleasant way. He felt his pants become tighter and tighter as he sucked and wrapped his tongue around Sam's cock. He could not help but moan dully in response to the breaths and groans of pleasure he was receiving.

 

Nick raised his hands and brought them to Sam's wrists and made him follow his movements, still sucking his cock.  _ Please. Please Sam. Fuck my mouth. _ He did not need to make his encouragement loud for Sam and soon he had to put his hands on the hips in front of him as a support as he was forced violently  to swallow deeply the cock in his mouth. Sam held his hair forcefully as he moved his hips in a jerky rhythm. Nick was now crying without shame and groaning painfully, taking everything he could. He felt the dick giving a little bouncing and opened his eyes larger when Sam sank as much as he could into his mouth and held him in that position as he came straight and deep into his throat. Nick's eyes watered one last time and he fought against his will, deprived of air, whining at every tension of Sam’s sex. After a last moan, Sam withdrew slowly, his hands coming to cajole the red cheeks of Nick as his sex came out of his full red lips with a wet pop.

 

Nick's hands were still holding Sam's hips and his head was now resting on the left thigh as he tried to catch his breath back, his throat irritated. His heart was beating too fast, his head spun out of the air, and he tried not to think of the fact that he had just come in his pants without any help. Sam was going back to look after his hair, petting them now that he no longer had access to his face.

 

He was panting when he spoke. "Did you just come in your pants?"

 

Nick nodded his head against the thigh and muttered some incomprehensible words, unwilling to discuss anything.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

_ Then maybe a discussion _ . He did not try to get up and just sat down, leaving the comfort of the warm body in front of him. "I'm good." His voice was totally broken and he grinned under the pitch.

 

"Water?"

 

He nodded again and looked at Sam putting his pants up and heading toward the kitchen. He only waited a minute before he came back with a glass.

 

"Here."

 

Nick accepted the offering and drank a few gulps with caution. He was not so rattled now, and passed a tired hand over his eyes, chasing the last tears.

 

"I'm sorry. I went too hard on you. "

 

There was shame in the voice and on the face of the young man and Nick sighed as he grabbed him by the collar, forcing him to lower himself so they would be face to face.

 

“Are you stupid? Cause I think it was pretty obvious that I liked it.” Then he made a pause, sure that he was looking right into Sam’s perfect hazel eyes. “I just didn’t see the swallowing thing coming and it was so good, I freaking came in my pants. So stop that look right now.” The all tirade hurt his throat like a bitch but Sam kissed him gently so it definitely worth it.

 

“See, you’re doing it again, being cute.”

 

Nick shrugged and continued to kiss Sam, sliding from his mouth to his cheek and then from his cheek to his neck. "You can not say that just after I blowed you. Creepy." He mumbled, biting his skin.

 

Sam complained to the sudden sting and tilted his head a little more to the side, exposing his throat.

 

"Mh. Sure you got some talents."

 

An indignant sound answered him.

 

"An amazing tongue. You really took my whole dick into your pretty mouth in one move." Sam felt Nick babbled on his neck, happily. "But still, I had come faster when I was a teenager."

 

Sam folded his lips into a pout as the kisses stopped raining on his neck and he looked down at Nick only to meet a scary smile. He did not really know how he found himself crushed under the weight of the man with a forearm against his throat and a forehead against his own. The eyes stared at him without blinking, predator like, then tooks a teasing look. "Then I just have to try harder." Nick put a light kiss on his lips and stood up. "Later. After all, I have boxes to empty. " He took a few steps and disappeared in a corridor.

 

Always lying on the floor Sam looked at the ceiling with a thoughtful face. He was not really used to that kind of relationship. As Dean said so well he was more "wedding material" and if he did not refuse a one night stand he would rarely run into a person after a single date to receive the best blowjob of his young life. He tried very hard to not think of how Nick had fallen on his knees all eager and greedy, and failed miserably. No one had ever led him so hard when he was in charge of receiving the blowjob. No matter how much he could try to persuade himself of the reverse, it was obvious that Nick had directed the whole act, pushing him exactly where he wanted when he wanted to. It had taken all his will to remember the message on his phone and to hold back the face of the man when he came.

 

When Nick returned to the living room he was wearing a pair of new pants and smiled calmly, though a little embarrassed. Sam looked at him for a long time.

 

"You like being in control right?"  _ Come more straight than I thought. _

 

Nick sat down on the floor and began to open a case. "Yes." His hands were quietly and cautiously busy as they came out off a piles of books.

 

"Hey, Nick."

 

He did not lift the heads of the boxes. "What's on your mind princess?"

 

Sam narrowed his eyes, unhappy. "What about your refractory period? You seem pretty old." He said, accenting the last word.

 

"Sorry for my mistake. Of course, you're not a princess, you brat." Nick got up and walked toward Sam, his shoulders straight and his eyes amused. "I’m old enough to fuck you senseless on this bloody floor."

 

"Now, that's a look."

 

"If you’re hard and want some help with this, you should ask gently, Sammy."

 

Sam raised the top of his body and grabbed Nick's arms, pushing him to join him on the floor. "I let it for your dream." Then he comes back on the ground with a moan when Nick's hand grabbed his dick over his pant.

 

"For the record, I’m 44. So, too old for hitting on you?"

 

The hand tightened and loosened in rhythm and Sam slowly moved his hips to meet more pressure. He laughed and bit his lips, stifling a sound. He knew the age difference between them would make Dean shout more but he did not care less.

 

"No. No, it's okay. "

 

Nick smirked aside. "So we're good. That- " He said, making a few more pushes. "Good?"

 

“Yes. Please Nick. Please.”

 

“I got you.” Nick keep moving, opening again the pants and carefully slicked his fingers with precome before taking  the heavy cock in his hand hard and fast. He stared at Sam’s face during all the act, taking care of his pleasure with pride. He took him some minutes for making the man come with a cry and he kissed  his nose softly.

 

Sam was lost and out for a few seconds and when he tried to reach the skin under Nick’s shirt he didn’t mind the sudden and sharp reject, his hands forced back on the floor. He just groaned in discomfort and rolled his head, tired. “Wanna sleep.”

 

“Yeah big baby, take your time and I’ll bring you back home.” If the voice was rough and not playful anymore, Sam did not notice it.

 

When he parked on the pavement, this time he went downstairs and accompanied Sam to his home. He followed him inside and quickly and conscientiously cataloged the layout of the house. "Nice place. You still lived with your brother, right? "

 

Sam turned to him, smiling, though a little tensed. "Yeah. I wait until I have enough money to move. When I'm gonna leave, Dean has to do it too, so we take our time about it." He took a few short breaths and blinked a little. "Nick. I just. God. I have to ask. What- What we are?"

 

Nick perceived a shadow in the corridor and looked thoughtfully at Sam.  _ Hiding like a thief, Dean? _ He played with his hands a little anxious. "Honestly?" He asked. He received a silent acquiescence.

 

He carefully weighed his words and repeated his sentence inwardly. "First, I planned to fuck you then- then you stupidly smiled at me and I found myself wanting to take you out, to make you smile like that again and maybe laugh too. I think we start it pretty well, was a nice date. " Sam nodded carefully. "So the blowjob was not on purpose." _ Hope that you're blushing like a virgin, here. _ "I guess that my behavior was out of the line- but I like you Sam and really it could be anything that you want."

 

Sam looked at him, his red cheeks and his size suddenly gave him a clumsy look. He was about to answer when Dean entered  the room, evidently annoyed, he stared at Sam with resentment.

 

"What the hell?"


	5. Chapter five: But here it is, truth is not universal

**Chapter five: But here it is, truth is not universal**

 

Dean shouted and Sam stood upright, arms crossed. He was obviously accustomed to his brother's outbursts and was waiting for the storm to calm down. But that was forgetting the character of Nick who was beginning to die of boredom.

 

“It’s freaking too late for me taking all your bullshit.”

 

The older Winchester turned and furiously glared at him. “Yeah! Go fuck yourself and never come back!”

 

Behind his brother Sam sighed, feeling a little defeated. “Calm down.”

 

“I don’t like him.”

 

Nick raised his eyebrows at Dean's immaturity and decided to leave without worrying about the two men. _ I'm not in a bloody high school. Nope. _ He started his car and went home, ignoring with conviction the beeps of his phone.

 

His house welcomed him with the same mess and cardboards as ever, and he looked plaintively at the floor.  _ Guess I have some cleaning to do. _ Nick thought with a sigh and went to work only stopping when midnight appeared on his phone screen and he sent a message of distress to Charlie before going to bed.

 

[Date three come really really fast.

Maybe we missed the date two.]

 

He falls asleep before looking for an answer.

 

The front door looked much more imposing and terrifying than the last time Sam had come. He was watching the bell, a ball of stress in his throat, he hesitates to press. It made ten minutes now that he stood straight in front of Nick's house and he felt more stupid with every second passing He exhaled deeply and tried to regain his spirits.

 

It's been a week since Dean had annoyed Nick enough for him to leave without ceremony. Since then, the messages he received were short and flat. Sam did not really know why he was standing there, obviously, Nick did not want to see him. Still, he could not help but want to clear things up. He was almost on the point of slamming his head against the door when a soft voice was heard behind him.

 

"Hum, Hi?"

 

Sam turned his head quickly, a red-haired woman stood and looked at him hesitantly a few steps away. She narrowed her eyes as if she was scanning him and suddenly lit up. When he met her eyes again she smiled at him.

 

He curled up slightly, feeling a little shy about the situation.

 

"Mh." Was all that could come out voluntarily from his mouth.

 

“You’re taller than him. Like, you’re not an elf, right? So damn tall.”

 

Now, it was a usual situation and he shrugged his shoulders in an obvious sign that damn, he did not care at all. The woman ignored his reaction and approached him, knocking three times on the wooden door. Sam clenched his whole body, unprepared psychologically for the rest.

 

"It's Sam, is it? I'm Charlie! "She chirped, winking at the door as if it would open it faster.

 

“Yes- Nice to… What? You know my name?”

 

She looked at him with kindness. “Of course, Nick here was screaming after you all the damn week, like the Devil in a cage.”

 

Sam’s internal scream was shut at the moment the door opened and Nick gave them a dark look from the doorway. "Well, hello there."

 

Charlie stretched her lips upward as if seeing Nick was the most wonderful thing in the whole universe and hugging him quickly before entering without more preamble in the house.

 

Nick stood on the landing, silent and static, staring at Sam without compassion.

 

Sam looked away quickly and crossed his arms in an unconscious gesture of protection. He cleared his throat several times.

 

"I should not come without telling you." He said in a weak voice.

 

"Yeah, you should not."

 

Fists clenched, Sam pulled back, as if struck, in front of Nick's coldness. He bent his head slightly, defeatist.

 

“I-I see. I guess it’s over. I see it coming with the text but I kinda hope that- Nevermind. Sorry for bothering you.” He can’t hide the shakes in his voice and the sad look on his face. He hears an angry sigh and turns slightly his eyes on Nick.

 

“I can’t even know why I have to say it. Damn.” Nick Lament with a low voice. “Say sorry.”

 

The whole posture screamed annoyance and Sam quickly repeat without a thought. “Sorry.”

 

“Do you even know why?”

 

“Not really.” Sam looked at Nick with a hopeful and apprehension eyes.

 

“I get it, your brother is a stubborn protective dick. I don’t really mind the stupid drunk text, but here that was an important talk. And you just take all the bullshit without a word. I don’t know what kind of relationship you two have but I get that it’s a packaging thing. There is no way I endure his behavior and yours.” He takes a break and inhales. “So, you're apologizing for being a dick with me and let me without any answers about our thing. And there’s no thing until you talk to your brother and make sure he can play with small talk.”

 

Sam managed to not step back and look straight at him. He was clearly not sure about what’s going on.

 

“I don’t really- Are you angry about the way I let Dean talk to me?”

 

Nick leaned back against the door. “Packaging things.” He sigh. “You can be a little shy sometimes but surely not insecure. You can think whatever you want, you aren’t letting him behave like that because it’s a short way. It’s because you’re freaking afraid about him abandon you. Can’t work Sam. It can’t.”

 

Sam leaned slightly forward, a little shaken. He nodded thoughtfully and looked at Nick again. The man's eyes were cold but did not contain any malice.

 

"It's not a bitch move right? You really mean it."

 

“You said it, I’m pretty old. If it’s not a one night stand, then I know what I want, what I need, for building something. I like you, so of course, it’s not as easy at is seems but it’s the deal.”

 

They stood silent for a moment, and Nick finally gave a little smile as he heard some cries in the living room. He shrugged. "Think about it. Friendship duty calls me." He returned to his house with a nod in the direction of Sam.

 

Nick found Charlie slumped on the couch with a large bowl of cereal and a big smile. "He's cute."

 

He chuckled. "You already see him."

 

She takes a very serious face and moves her finger, telling him to move forward, like she had a secret to told. "There's high definition and real definition."

 

Nick looks positively shocked. "Are you talking bad about computers, fox?"

 

"You can’t prove that."


	6. Chapter six : I stuck myself into the web, laying in my lies

**Chapter six : I stuck myself into the web, laying in my lies**

 

Sam stood straight in the corridor as he looked the stairway to his own personal hell. Which means the few meters who keep him far away from Dean’s anger.

 

He looked timidly on the right, thinking of running away and hiding in his room like when he was a child. But Nick had been clear and opened with him and Sam was quite honest with himself to see the truth in his words. He let Dean acting like the alpha of the house, fearing that the only pillar of his life would collapse. As he laid his hand on the railing of the stairs he wondered if this story with Nick was worth every effort. He let a little sad laugh pass his lips. “I'm such a coward.” He said to himself.

 

"Are you fine down there?"

 

Dean's voice rang in the confined space, causing Sam to jump. He raised his head quickly and looked at his brother, still upstairs.

 

"Is it because he's old?" He said hurriedly. He opened his eyes comely, realizing what he had just said without thinking about it.

 

Dean seemed like he wanted to leave, not inclined to any talking. "This discussion, again?"

 

"I do not remember having uttered a single word. Just listening to you screaming is not really a discussion." Sam grinned at his words, sounding rough even in his own ears. For what it was worth, at least Dean was not able to utter a word, shocked by the sudden velocity of his little brother. But he recovered quickly and crossed his arms, his face crumpled in a mask of aggressiveness.

 

When he appeared on the point of retorting Sam cut him off. "I do not need your approval, you do not need to love him. But until he does anything reprehensible to me, you do not have a word in my choice of partner." He breathed and awkwardly moved his arms in a sign of appeasement, more for himself than for Dean. "If you do not want to try, okay. You're my brother and it saddens me of course, but okay, I can live with dark glares and small talk about the weather as long as you do not behave like an asshole, what it causes him to do likewise."

 

Sam finished his tirade, setting his eyes on the ground, between relieved and about to cry. His hands were trembling, moist, like the day he had received his letter of admission to Stanford and he was waiting a sign of encouragement from his older brother to stand against their dad.

 

At the top of the stairs Dean swallowed hard, Sam looked like a puppy that had just been kicked. "I still do not like it, but I guess we can see what it's going to be like." He let out his sentence with a slight tone of denial and went back to his room leaving Sam in a dark, cold corridor, but with a calm smile on his lips.

 

Back in his room Sam pulled out his phone and played with him for a few seconds, hesitating.

 

[Are we okay?]

 

Immediately after pressing the send button he gave a small whimper ashamed of his message. He felt so awkward, more than he had been for a long time. He closed his eyes thinking about Jessica and how she could make him so embarrassed in an instant. She was the only one who had taken the first step towards him, filling all his doubts flaws by laughs. Thinking about it, this feeling of uncertainty that took him everytime he saw Nick was probably the only reason he confronted Dean.

 

His phone vibrated and he jumped at the noise.

 

[I hope so.

Are you okay?]

 

Sam blinked, little on how the man could detect his feelings with a single sentence.  _ Am I so easy to see through? _ He Thought.

 

[I just talked to Dean.]

 

[I had figured it out.]

 

He smiled as he saw that Nick was moving slowly, leaving him the chance to step back if he did not want to talk about it.

 

[It could have been worse.]

 

[So it could have been better?]

 

[Dean. He is not…

He does not like to talk about feelings.]

 

[I had figured it too.]

 

[Stay away, Professor X.]

 

[Again. I knew there was a nerd in you.]

 

[You seem happy with that.]

 

[I'm. It's usual. Usual is reassuring.]

 

Lying more comfortably on his bed Sam thought of the red-haired woman.  _ Elf eh? _

 

[I'm sorry.

I did not want to bother you with, huh Charlie?]

 

[Do not be. She did not stop talking about your hair.

You're definitely a Disney Princess.]

 

[Is this a coalition?]

 

[Sleeping beauty needs his beauty sleep

It's almost 2 in the morning, go to bed.]

 

[You're really going to be that kind of boyfriend?]

 

[The bossy one.]

 

    [So you must be Doc, I suppose…]

 

[We'll have Disney sleepover only if you behave.   
Have nice dreams.]

 

[I’m on my best behavior for it. Promise.   
Good night.]

 

When he got up Sam grabbed his laptop directly, eyes folded in front of the blinding light. He patted on his screen and prepared for his workday.

 

[Hello.]

 

After a well-deserved shower and breakfast, he returned to his room. On his bed his phone glowed gently, indicating a new message.

 

[Hi princess, slept well?]

 

[Oh no, you are in the mood for nicknames. What happens?

And yes, I slept well, I’m literally shining.]

 

[Mh. I want to pet your hair now.

It’s my first day at work. I’m so damn tired, how can I support student like that?]

 

It took Sam some time to remember or Nick was going to work. He quickly imagined the man in the middle of an amphitheater, before a hundred students.

 

[They gonna eat you alive. You poor old man.

What are you teaching again?]

 

The answer took awhile to arrive and Sam looked at the time. He grimaced and quickly finished preparing, running to the bus stop. When night came and he pressed in, his phone contained only messages from Dean.

 

He frowned, hesitating to insist on his question. Nick was still very vague about what he was doing. He had in his eyes the same reluctance that his father had when dealing with the subject of war, that moment between the instinct of combat or of flight. He wondered if Nick was also shunning his own memories, the army could do that to people.

 

After few minutes of hesitation he wrote another message.

 

[I'll be busy for the two next week, new case.

Wanna do something after that? Maybe a movie?]

 

Sam could not stop his nervousness as he tapped his phone. He had the disagreeable impression that everything was going to disintegrate at the slightest error. He lay down on his bed, staring at the ceiling for long minutes before falling asleep.

____________

 

After two weeks without seeing Nick, maybe the cinema was not such a good idea. Sam could hardly stay focused on the screen, his eyes turned to follow the lights illuminating the man's face at times. Nick seemed totally absorbed by the action movie and for once kept his hands steady during arm-rests. He smiled softly, his shoulders moving in rhythm as he laughed at a scene.

 

When at one moment Nick turned to him to catch popcorns there was a moment of realization on his face, as if he had just remarked that he was the only thing Sam had been watching for more than an hour. Sam stared shamelessly, his eyes fixed while a gentle smile took place on Nick's lips and his face tensed under a slight embarrassment. The hand holding a handful of candy hit him gently on the arm and Nick turned back to the screen, eating quickly.

 

Moments later Sam felt a hand slide into his and every time Nick laughed he could feel his fingers squeezing around his. Without trying to stop himself, Sam smiled too.

 

When he came out of the cinema Nick laughed, telling one of the unlikely stunts, an arm around Sam's waist.

 

"It was a good one." He said, happily.

 

Sam turned his face towards the man, he waited patiently for Nick to look at him. "Yes, it was." By the look of Nick, he knew that Sam was not talking about the scene. “You live nearby right? Come on.” Then he grabs Nick’s hand and rushes to the car.

 

Sam did not really know what he was doing but he could do nothing but reach for Nick's lips with passion. Madness must have taken possession of him, never in his life he had been so quick to let himself go to desire. Nick seemed to burn a flame inside him that he had never realized was here before. He was almost sure that now the house was filled with furniture probably more pleasant than the parquet floor of the living room but could not be less interested.

 

The icy blue of Nick's eyes was only brighter, a thin circle pushed away by a black pupil. The last time he had not taken the time to admire the excitement on the man's face. On him, prowling like a predator Nick smiled slightly, his face flushed. Sam chuckled when strong, rough hands grazed his ribs as he lifted his t-shirt a little.

 

"Fuck, you're beautiful," said Nick, his voice hoarse.

 

From where he was laying Sam wanted to refute, he wanted to say that he was probably not the prettiest person in the room. But Nick looked at him with such devotion that it seemed useless to argue, so Sam gently lets himself get rid of his top and went back to kiss him.

 

He did not know when they finally reach the bed, still, half dressed, too tired for anything that involved more than a slow mutual handjob.

 

They both lay on the sheets and Sam followed Nick's arm with his fingers until he reached the edge of a sleeve. He blinked and looked more closely at the bicep’s skin in front of him, just at the edge of the garment under his fingers he could feel the edge of a scar. He approached, wanting to look closer but Nick rolled on his back and grabbed his neck, bringing him against his chest.

 

"Don’t mind it." He whispered against his hair.

 


	7. Chapter seven: Darkness crawls around my bed

**Chapter seven: Darkness crawls around my bed**

 

After a few weeks, Nick was beginning to wonder where all this was going. Sam was adorable and their relationship flourished nicely as the operation took an increasingly long nap. He had to make up his mind to take a step toward Dean before his superiors would raise it up. He knew full well that his doubts came from the fact that he had unfortunately attached himself more than he should to Sam and now he was reluctant to betray him more than he already did.

 

So when one evening he arrived at Sam's house to take him out he worried about not finding the man who was watching the Winchester in his car. He frowned and approached a window when he heard cries coming from within. “Oh well, that's an advance I guess”. He thought more calmly than he would admit. He grabbed a man's movement in the living room from the corner of his eye and he walked towards the door, entering the house silently.

 

The house was deep into silence when Dean came back home. Out, Nick's car stands in front of the alley but no light was shining through the windows. He turns his head and notices that Dick Roman’s man was not here. Immediately Dean starts to freak out. He put a shaking hand under his jacket, looking for his gun, already picturing the darkest things. His mind runs too fast, thinking about the man Dick Roman put at his baby brother ass, about what he had done for this happening and maybe a little part of him was worried for the strange asshole Sam takes under his wings.

 

So when he entered in his house he did not expect to be jerked on the wall by a firm hand, his gun put down during the very short fight he put back. Blue cold eyes stared at him, without fear or hate, just like a raptor waiting for a sign of weakness. Dean swallowed, his body tensed, not ready for the sweet and playful Nick's features turned into a perfect poker face. Behind the man's shoulders he could see Sam, tied up to a chair, eyes close by tape, knocked away. He felt the rage burn his chest, quickly followed by panic when he noticed the bloody body on the floor. His brains blacked out a second. Dick Roman's man.

 

"We're so fucked up." Dean said in a croaky voice, his throat still blocked by Nick's hand.

 

"I don't freaking know what is going on here. But this man was trained. It becomes bloody damn fast." It was a lie, because Nick did not seem hurt at all. Nick closed his hand a little tighter and released Dean, snorting with disgust.

 

He makes few steps and pushes the body with his shoe. "Sam was awake for a good part of this, he gonna asks questions. I think a dead body is not a good way to start a relationship." He turned his head, taking the fear in Dean's eyes. "For fuck's sake. Don't pee in your pants. I just gonna call some friends."

 

Nick got closer to Dean until they were face to face, he leant slightly his head to meet the greens eyes. He did not blink for a long time, something harsh in his eyes. "Then we'll talk."

 

When the police arrived, it became a real mess. Dean was on his feet, ready to fight, a look of betrayal wrote on his face. But the officers just take the body and put him in a car, then came back to talk to Nick like they were good friends. They had a discussion about crime scene, deposition, lab, and start to laugh without a reason.

 

After some minutes Nick sat next to Sam, doing another checking on him. "My friends are nice people, no need to worry." He freed Sam's hand, looking for every little bruise. "The only things you need to know, I come here to take Sam out but I found him tied up, a man robbing the house. I fought with the man, Sam got hurt in the process. The man ran away when he heard your car. We wake up Sam, take him to the freaking better hospital and when we sure he's okay he has to make, like us, a deposit."

 

Dean tried his best to understand the situation, his brain working fast. He was about to argue but then Sam woke up at Nick’s touch, dizzy and hurt. They did not take their time, in less than 10 minutes his brother was dropped to the hospital, Nick at his side, answered any questions he could have. Dean could only stare at Nick in the rearview mirror. If he already hated the man now he had a better reason for his feelings. Still, he looked carefully his baby brother, wondering why, if he saw the scene, he was not afraid of Nick's skills to kick ass. But if Sam did not ask he could see the light show of awareness on his face.

 

The travel and passage to the hospital were short, under slightly smile of Sam and Nick's care. He could give it to the asshole, with no doubt he was fond of Sam.

 

When Sam was left in the hands of doctors after a long wait Dean looked up at the ceiling, tired. Next to him Nick rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a bundle of tobacco. He gave a little pout at the sight of the little that remained inside and turned to him.

 

“Mind to sharing one with me?” Nick asked, staring.

 

“I stopped.”

 

Nick just shrugged. “Then just keep me company.” The voice was sharp this time and Dean does not try to argue about the fact he really did not want to share a moment alone with the creepy man who almost broke his neck.

 

When they were taken out of the walls of Nick's Hospital, they were directed to a quiet place, away from the few smokers. Nick leaned against a barrier and started rolling a cigarette.

 

“So what’s the deal with this man. I saw him on a few occasion staring at Sam’s ass like a dog. A bad one.”

 

Dean stood a few moments staring into the void, unsure. He certainly was not going to unwrap his life in front of this man. But Nick looked up to the sky with a groan of vexation.

 

“I just killed a man, I think your secrets can’t be that bad. A little of reciprocity can be great here.” Nick’s voice was tainted with exasperation. He made a small noise of joy as he finally finished to roll his cigarette and grabbed for his lighter. He looked for a second at Dean’s face. Of course, the man was not dead, just really bad damaged and with all the incrimination he gonna stay a long time into the secret department’s wall. 

 

_ Okay, he got a point _ . Thought Dean with recalcitrance. It took a little longer than Nick seemed to appreciate and a few seconds later the man was in front of him, surpassing him from a few inches and Dean faced a red lurch while Nick moved his cigarette too close of his eyes.

 

"Speak when you're spoken to." He did not even try to hide the threat note in his voice.

 

Dean swallowed hard and moved his head slightly, trying to avoid a burn. "He was there to make sure I did my job," he said, his voice clenched. He did not even know what he could have done to get Roman angry.

 

Nick folded his lips with discontent. First because he had not been warned that Dean was not the leader of his petty drug and car traffic. They, of course, knew he couldn't work alone but not under others watch. Second, because his approach was not necessarily the right one in this new situation, but he could not really change it now. He placed a friendly arm around Dean's shoulders invading his personal space.

 

"Damn. So you're telling me all of this is your fault? "Nick whispered as he blew smoke on Dean’s face. "What a fucking shame. So what? You have a big boss who keeps your ass on the line by threatening your brother? Well honey, humor me. Is it the drug? Please do not tell me you're selling your ass."

 

In answer to the sentence, Dean's face filled with anger and he backed away violently. "You're a fucking asshole."

 

Nick remained silent and rolled his eyes. _ Yeah I know, it’s my day job. _ He thought, internally smiling.

 

“I needed money. More money than I can have with my job so I accepted to work on some cars, change number plates, easy peasy things.” Dean looked at the ground for a moment. “Then they asked for more and when I tried to step back… They came with Sam’s pictures in college and I freaked out. I accepted. And I do everything. I don’t- I don’t know why he does that to Sam...” He raised his face and frowned, determined. "That's enough?"

 

Nick makes a small smile. “So who?” He asked, taking a puff of a cigarette.

 

“Who?”

 

"Who’s the top dog for whom you show your pretty belly?" Nick said with inappropriate humor.

 

He narrowed his eyes when there was no answer.

The burn takes everything down, Dean jerked away with a noise of surprise and he looked at his hand with incredulity. From where he stood, Nick was still, taking another puff of cigarette like he had not burnt Dean's hand some seconds ago. Suddenly Dean's blood was running fast, his brain taking in consideration the fact that Nick’s threat was real. He stammered and swallowed, trying to regain some posture.

 

For a moment, Dean thought about to tell the man to fuck off, that he couldn't do anything about it, out of his league. But then, Nick just killed a man. The realization waved over him, Nick killed a man without any regrets, just like it was usual, like he has done it a lot of time before this one. A stupid idea came to him, maybe Nick, creepy as he was, could help.

 

He left an insecure look at the blond and lower his eyes. "You know some names, right?" It was almost rhetorical, because Dean wanted of all his heart that the answer was no. He was this kind of brother. But in front of him, Nick nodded, bothered.

 

Finally, Dean gave the name. "Dick Roman."

 

Nick makes a sound, low but harsh. "That-that's bad." Then he laughs. "Dude, you're in so much trouble." He reached Dean's shoulders with a hand and patted him gently like they were friends now. "Let's check on Sam."

 

In Sam’s room Nick was busy with his phone.

 

[We need to put evidences of the man’s disparition out of Dean path.

Maybe something about his family, addiction, who cares. Must be fast though.]   
  
[Done.]

  
  
  



	8. Chapter eight: Truth has to rise and I broke your wings

**Chapter eight: Truth has to rise and I broke your wings**

 

Dean watched for the umpteenth time in the past hour the files Kevin had sent him. Sitting in his office, he was looking at his right hand, more exactly on the round new burn who had been sitting there for a few days. Sam's passage to the hospital had also left traces on him. He shook his right hand, making a mess of the papers underneath, struggling to associate Nick's different behaviors.

 

_ This is fucking horrible. None of these documents should arrive in Sam's hands. _ He thought.

______

 

It had been two weeks since he'd been in the hospital and Sam was lying on his couch, looking at Nick's back. The man was cooking for their movie night, letting times for Sam to let his brain work in the silence.

 

Sam knew that after the recent events, Dean was scared as hell for him but he could not care less. He was already aware of Nick’s military past and yes, the demonstration of power was a lot to take but nothing he could not handle. For a moment, sitting on that chair while Nick unleashed hell on the freak who tied him, Sam was frightened. Nick looked like he was not here anymore and it was a brisk reminder of how John snapped between a man and a monster in an instant. But Nick was in control, his whole mind on his task.

 

A sharp sound rang in the room and Sam lifted his eyes as Nick’ grabbed the timer. Sam liked Nick’s hands. The man was a hurricane, big and loud with something almost dangerous in the posture. But suddenly Nick's busy hands went still when they reached Sam's fingers, he became focus, quiet and small. When they were hand in hand Sam was the only thing Nick could think about, they were on the same plan, bonded. It was Sam's favorite part of their relation.

 

So it was not a great feeling when sometimes Nick got his hands back, cutting all connection. When it happened Sam knew he screwed up, even a little. The first time Sam did not pay attention, he was talking about his father, about the army. Nick was quiet, listening to him but where everyone would give attention and support he let his hand out of Sam's grip, putting distance between them.

 

Nick was also nine different kind of relief in Sam's life. The man had no shame, he was not here for making things better and he spoke his mind. Sam told him for the college, how it was difficult to leave, but how much he was in need of freedom. How he was proud of Dean, standing for him in front of their father. How John was an asshole still it was understandable with all the things he went through. How Sam should behave been grateful to have him as a father.

 

Nick did not take the bullshit, he sat in front of Sam, eyebrows frowned. "What the hell are you talking about? It's may be an explanation, not an excuse. War does things to people. Damn, Sam, I don't even want to remember what happens to me down there. But you can't use it like that. You can't say that, you father failed you, that's all. Sometimes people screw things up because they don't know how to handle it, because they don’t want to be helped, they don’t want to see all the bad they do. You still can love them, but Sam, you don't have to."

 

It was the first time Nick's withdrawal hurt him. And it hurt, it hurt so much that Sam may have cried. Not because Nick was right, but because he was right and far away from Sam's arms, letting him get down and building his walls again, alone.

Sam was not sure if Nick knew this part of his own personality, how much it was evident in these moments that something was profoundly broke inside of him and that the scars were still burning.

 

He get of his thoughts when Nick put the drinks on the coffee table.

 

"You're a good waiter." Sam said, grabbing his drink, smiling.

 

Nick hissed as he went back into the kitchen. "Sorry, but I'm more than happy to have escaped the bar." He came back with foods. "Even if the students aren’t more silent. At least there is not this pale excuse of music. And it's easier to deal with hangovered people than drunks one." He said, sitting down.

 

Sam sank a little more into the couch. "You seemed in your element, though."

 

Nick grimaced and shook his head. "Do not say that, it was really horrible. I don’t want do that anymore, even to earn money while waiting for another job." He pushed Sam's shoulder with his, teasing. "Except flirting, I liked it. I cannot really do it with my students now."

 

Sam turned his face toward Nick, his eyes folded. "Teachers are directly out of category? You got something for the younger ones?" It was a jibe because Sam did not really like when people tried to make him jealous. Ruby was a bitch with that and he won’t enter into this kind a relationship again.

 

Nick tried to stifle a laugh. "Ouch. Touché. Okay okay, I got it. Sorry."

 

"You can be," Sam whispered, turning on the television. "That's low."

 

Hands on his thighs Nick looked thoughtfully at Sam. He had unwittingly put his finger on something painful apparently. "Sam."

 

"Mh?" Sam replied without turning around, looking for a documentary.

 

"You remember when I told you I was married?" He spoke softly, trying to get Sam's attention. He was trying to initiate a serious conversation and the effect was almost instantaneous.

 

"Yes, you were rather vague about it." Sam looked uncomfortable next to Nick, clutching around his glass awkwardly.

 

"Sarah and I had that kind of relationship." Nick frowned as Sam shrugged his shoulders back. He continued. "The kind of open relationship, I mean. I love men as much as women and we were not jealous. Well you know it, there were things I could not really get from her and she liked to see me on my knees for another man. Also, I love to flirt. A lot." He squinted at Sam's crotch as he spoke and get back to his now relaxed face. "I did not tried to make you jealous here, Sam."

 

"I'm not into open relationships." Sam found the need to make a point.

 

Nick squeezed Sam's thigh in a sign of appeasement. "It's okay, I did not expect that between us. But it's good to know our limits, no flirt it is."

 

"If it’s not. If-I mean..." Sam stuttered, unable to find his words.

 

"That's good Sam. Really. I can see there is more than a question of trust here. And I get all the flirt I need with you."

 

Nick met Sam’s eyes, calmly. He gently tangled their legs and grabbed the remote control to increase the sound.

 

They watched the TV in silence for long minutes before Sam dared ask the question that was burning his lips since their discussion. He put his glass on the coffee table and slid a hand on Nick's thigh. The blond vaguely turned his gaze on him and sank more comfortably against him before turning his attention back to the documentary.

 

"Do you like being watched?" He said point blank

 

Nick blinked incredulously. He tensed as Sam slowly stroked a hand against his thigh, suggestive. "You ..." He breathed deeply, moving closer to the touch. "I liked her to look at me. To have a connection with the person I love is what turns me on the most." He said hoarsely.

 

Sam put his hand up against the visible bulge in Nick's pants and gently squeezed. "And are you?"

 

"Am I what?" Nick swallowed as Sam climbed over his thighs and leaned forward to kiss his jaw faintly.

 

"Turned on by the idea of taking what you want." Sam lifted his body, kneeling on Nick, his crotch just at his face. "By letting me fuck your mouth, hard and dirty."

 

A destroyed sound rang faintly between their two bodies and Nick placed trembling hands on the hips in front of him. "Damn, Sam. That's ..." He breathed and laughed. "I knew you had it in you."

 

Sam giggled as Nick opened his pants. "I am mortified by my own behavior. But you blush so nicely, I cannot care."

 

Nick looked at him from below, his eyes closed as he took Sam in his hand and jerked him a few times. "Hmm. I want it harder this time. I can take it, give me all you got."

 

"Sure?" Sam asked, stroking his blond hair.

 

"One hundred percent," Nick whispered, sliding his tongue against a vein now that Sam was completely erected. He let his hands slide between the sofa and his back and opened his mouth wide, eyes closed. His blood was running fast and he hardly noticed the sound around them anymore.

 

Sam passed a damp hand across his forehead and groaned. He guided himself in Nick's inviting mouth, inch by inch, until he felt a nose against his groin. He could see the questioning in the blue eyes as he pressed Nick until he was completely lined up against the sofa. He put his hands against the wall, his thighs resting against Nick's chest.

 

Nick swallowed around the cock in his mouth as soon as he understood where Sam’s led them. Above him, Sam moans heavily at the action. Nick had only a few seconds to prepare, Sam languidly moving his hips, sinking in a slow rhythm in his throat before gaining speed.

 

It was overwhelming, Nick could not move as he was maintained against the fabric of the couch with everyone of Sam’s rough trusts. He could feel the heat of Sam's legs on his chest, Sam was around him, in him and Nick was on the edge. He took it the best he could, trembling and trying not to choke. Sam was a whole ball of groans and moans and Nick felt the sudden urge to touch him, to kiss him.

 

He get his hands free and raised them against Sam's legs, grabbing the man and making him slowed his pushes. He turned his tongue around the heavy cock in his mouth, eyes looking into Sam’s hazel one and slowly get him out, licks by licks.

 

Nick was aware he surely looked like a goddamn mess, tears in his eyes, flushed face and spit running out of his lips. He still tried to put a convincing face as he kissed Sam’s belly.

 

“I want to fuck you. Pretty please.” He whispered weakly in his kisses.

 

Above him, Sam flinched a little, a short sound trapped in his throat. Nick could feel strong fingers gripping his shoulders as he ran his hands on Sam’s ass, greedy. When he looked back into the hazel eyes, Nick saw a slight doubt in them. He mumbled against Sam’s skin.

 

“Or we can suck each other off, I’m not picky.” To be honest Nick really wanted to sink himself right up in Sam’s ass. He also wanted to get the hell out of his case and kept the secret and Sam forever. 

 

_ It’s good to have dreams _ . He thought, gloomy.

 

“Your voice is sharp, I do it well.” Was the only things Sam said as he get his hands on Nick’s one, he gave them a little pinch. “You better be good at it, make it a good first memory for me, right?”

 

To his credit, Nick did not let any stupid sound out of his mouth, even when Sam get out of his shirt. He quickly reached for Sam’s red lips and kissed him breathless, laying him on the couch. “Saying that, you really want me to come in my pants like a teenager.”

 

Sam’s face was flushed with a shy smile on it. Nick kissed his lips one more time before kissing a line between his chin and his groin. “I’m gonna fuck you senseless.”

 

He did it though. He touched him slowly and carefully, opening him wild. Thrusting his wet fingers until Sam was soft and loose. Then when Sam was panting, he slid smoothly inside him, watching for any sign of pain or discomfort. It took Sam several minutes to get pleasure in the act and Nick was already sweating through effort.

 

"Fuck. Fuck." Whispered Sam in a litany. "Please, need to see you."

 

Sam met Nick's slow deep thrusts with abandon, squeezing the couch at each movement. The excitement gathered in him, burning his lower abdomen pleasantly. Out of breath, he planted his heels viciously in Nick's thighs, knowing that he was unable to show otherwise his discontent, much too lost in pleasure.

 

A groan answered his gesture. Nick knocked his hip gently and stooped down to kiss him again, teasing the line of his jaw before joining their lips. Sam bit into the kiss and slipped a hand under the gray t-shirt, caressing the belly slightly bounced and winning some encouraging moans. "Pretty please?" He plunged his hand further, brushing the ribs and approaching the back when his arm was brutally brought back on the sheets.

 

Nick narrowed his eyes, his hands clasping Sam's wrists. "Do not." He whispered, his throat tight under the effort.

 

For a few seconds Sam thought it was not that bad, he could live with Nick keeping his T-shirt on him. But when his eyes passed from his wrist to a closed, almost angry, face he lost all confidence. "Nick. Nick "He whispered, trying to get the man's attention as a wave of discomfort filled his chest.

 

After a few seconds, Nick stopped, feverish. He let go of Sam's wrists and passed a trembling hand over his face, trying to calm down.

 

“Hey, Nick- Nick it’s okay, I’m sorry.” Sam coaxed him, with a soothing tone. It was not a really comfortable situation and he actually whined as he felt his prostate brushed when Nick shook his head with force.

 

“It’s not good. It’s- I just don’t want you to see them.” Nick stayed his mouth open for few seconds and finally kept going. “Or touch them. I just can’t-” He was cut as Sam leaned him into an embrace, kissing him softly.

 

“Shh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I get it.” Sam whispered. A big part of him wanted to comfort Nick and hug him until he was good. Also the selfish part of him, craved to get his orgasm, maybe due at the small thrusts Nick’s kept doing while he was struggling with his feelings. He let a moan pass his throat as Nick sank into him again by inadvertence. Blush covered his cheeks and he awkwardly lay under Nick’s stare

 

Nick laughed careless few seconds later and Sam hit him gently in the chest.

 

“Don’t laugh at me, I was trying to comfort you right here!” Sam whined and finally choked when Nick moved slowly his hips with a smug smile.

 

“You still can-” Nick breathed heavily. “Comfort me later. After I blow your mind like promised.”

  
  



	9. Chapter nine: I did not mean to end you.

**Chapter nine: I did not mean to end you.**

 

It starts slowly, by little and pathetic sneaky thoughts and there it is, Sam was worried. At the beginning, it was not really a problem that Nick kept his past a secret but after some times it became obvious that something more slept under his skin. Nick was hiding a part of him, years of his life and Sam could not stand it anymore.

 

Sam was holding in a firm grip the dog tags of Nick. He found it resting on one of the bookshelves a week ago and Nick looked at it silently, thoughtful. “You found them.”

 

He frowned. “They’re wasn’t really hidden you know.”

 

Nick just shrugged, getting back at his occupation and letting him the time to read the tag.

 

“Nicola L. Shurley? And… What- Why it’s Lucifer instead of your religion?”

 

Nick stopped doing his stuff and propping up on the counter. “Michael, Gabriel and Raphaelle. That’s the name given to my siblings. My father called me Nicola Lucien Shurley on the paper. But he always talked to me as Lucifer.” Nick laughed, weakly. “Raphaelle worked in the army’s administration. She found it fun. That’s all.”

 

It was not a conversation that Sam could forget anytime soon so it was here, sitting on his couch, playing with the metal chain. Nick was retreating in the kitchen after their latest argument, trying to calm down while Dean stood in the corridor as a barrier between them.

 

After some minutes Sam saw Dean getting through the kitchen door. It takes him few other minutes to make his mind and he followed his brother, curious. Backed against a counter Nick was holding an almost empty beer, talking loudly with Dean, gesturing aggressively.

 

“You should tell him.” Dean grunted.

 

From where he was standing Sam could see the slight incomprehension on Nick’s face and he stepped near to the men.

 

“Told me about what?”

 

“Yeah, about what?” Asked Nick, arms crossed in a defensive position.

 

Suddenly Dean felt very, very small in front of the couple and he stepped back. He raised his arms, calming. “I may have done research on your past?”

 

Sam looked at Nick then at the floor, face almost crumbling apart like he knew it could not be good news. He wanted to shout at his brother for violating t Nick’s privacy but somewhere he was not able to found any fight in himself.

 

Dean swallowed briefly at his brother’s scrambled face. “It’s not like that Sammy. It’s- You know I would tell you if it was like that.” Then he turned his face to Nick. “I asked my contact to destroy the files. Honestly, I wasn’t looking for shitty past you know? But this days, you make me freak out, I needed to be sure you aren’t gonna hurt Sam. I had to.”

 

Quiet, Nick looked at them. He grumbled a few words and turned his head looking at the white wall. “It's not like I was hiding it. Sam know I was in the army.”

 

“But he doesn’t know what happened. How long it was, you can’t bury that much of time.”

 

Nick swallowed, he could not help the urge in his stomach to run away. Eyes little wild, he tried to look at Sam’s worried face only to found him walked up to him and grabbed his hands silently, giving him support. Behind them, Dean awkwardly left the room.

 

In the silent room, only Nick's breathing was heard. For long seconds Sam remained confused in front of the man's vulnerable facade. Obviously, the subject was still difficult though distant and Sam was not ready to shake something so important. "It's okay, we do not need to talk about it now," he said, his voice low.

 

When Sam took a step back Nick grabbed him briskly and brought him back. "No." He wrapped Sam by his arms, pushing him gently against the counter. His face was slightly wrinkled, worried. He leaned his head to one side, almost rattled by how his world collapsed. A dirty and emergency feeling filled his chest as a maniac laugh passed the barrier of his teeth and he put his forehead against Sam's shoulder. "It's just ... I do not know how to do it."

 

Then Sam felt hands on his own, he hided a grimace of pain under Nick's grip. Gently, he kissed the blonde's temple. "It's alright. You have all the time in the world."

His words were ignored and Sam swallowed hard as he felt his hands being guided, slowly but forcefully, down to Nick's back. First, he felt the rim of the fabric under the pulp of his fingers, then the seams and finally the flesh warm and sweaty. He closed his eyes and kept his lips in a quiet kiss on Nick's hair, letting his fingers discovered myriads of deep cuts assembled in a pattern that he struggled to decipher. He went up the spine, following the path of the scars, astonished at their forms and regularities. "It's not combat wounds" He murmured.

 

On the nape of his neck, Nick's breath grew deeper and he felt his lips move with every word. "They said that I spent 9 years down there. Enter to the army at 20, prisoner of war at 27, release at 36. "Nick guided Sam's hands to his shoulder blades and drew the contours of his scars. "There was only one woman among the guards. A fervent believer, she said it was for the greater good. That once my wings grows I could join the fight, me, the light bringer." He breathed heavily against Sam's skin. "There are just birds that will never fly again."

 

For a few seconds, Sam just stood there, front-to-front with Nick, then gently squeezed his hand. "Come on, let's go upstairs."

 

The world revolved around Nick as they climbed the stairs to the room, small but comfortable. He did not resist, without moving, while Sam made him sit on the bed.

 

Sam finally kneeled before Nick, attentive and all puppy eyes. “Can I see them?” He asked, gently.

 

It was a low bow and Nick found himself giving in. It should have been releasing, to let someone saw a part of him he was hiding for so many years, but it was not. Nick was not even able to stand Sam’s eyes as he took off his shirt letting appear wings on his back.


	10. Chapter ten: Still, I had a dream

**Chapter ten: Still, I had a dream**

 

Lying down beside Sam, Nick could not fall asleep. The past night had raised many bad memories. He thought helplessly, remembering the dark walls and emptiness of his cell. Behind each blink of eyelids appeared the lifeless body of his wife and when his eyes stared at Sam's face he felt nothing but guilt.

 

He tightened more firmly against Sam, his nose rubbing against the neck in front of him. "I'm sorry." He whispered, his eyes closed. He did not see the frown of Sam but tightened when he felt the embrace tighten. Well, shit. Was the only thing who get through his mind as he was brought back against the mattress, surrounded by Sam’s heavy body.

 

Sam's eyes were full of fatigue, a little blurry. "No more secret." He said, flat voice. One of his hands grabs Nick's right wrist while the other remains against the pillow. His eyes were stiff. "Nick."

 

Nick tensed slightly at the position he was put in. He tested Sam's grip without trying to get out of it. He grimaced. "I could make you regret it very quickly."

 

Sam did not even move, firm. "Could, this is the word."

 

Hissing, Nick showed his teeth in an animal demonstration between anger and fear. He was not yet inclined to assume just how unwilling he was to hurt Sam. What could have been a game of give or take had gradually changed to give or lose for him and the ultimatum presented itself.

 

He swallowed several times, seeking his words. His breath was blocking and he eventually gave up, letting a weak breath pass the barrage of his teeth. “I wasn’t supposed to be fond of you that much." He could keep the fight and lie, but he just stretched out in the dark form of Sam's body. Suddenly the mission did not seem so important as his guilt. “You were a cute flirt during an awful mission, all shiny and shy. And you brother shows up, I recognized him so easily. The man has his face on the agency's wall for a long time. All this shit become an undercover mission but at first Sam, at first, it was just you.”

 

Above him, Sam stays still, blank face. "What are you trying to accomplish here?"

 

Nick blinked several times, took in surprise by Sam's lack of reaction. "Apologize."

 

Sam lowered his head, his face blank. "For what, coming in my life, make me think I deserve something good, that I can be loved and then fuck me up?" He gave a smile. "What, something is heavy on your mind?”

 

Here we are. Though Nick with apprehension. “Yes, yes it is.” He muttered, not trying to reach any part of Sam’s body, aware of the tension between them. He shouts a little when the grip on his wrist grows stronger, painful.

 

“You could have lied. Why now? What changed?” Asked Sam, fierce in his tone.

 

It was a dumb question by Nick though. He lowered his head, sighed and slowly turned off side. It was an uncomfortable position, with Sam still holding his wrist, but he managed to actually put a show of his back. He felt a wave of insecurity goes through him as he can not saw Sam’s expression anymore. The only thing that he wanted was to raise and fight a little to get his control back but he was overrun by a new feeling of vulnerability.

 

He jumped when he felt a hand slip back against his scars, drawing the outline of a wing extending over a shoulder blade. The fingers went up to his neck, pinching it on the same occasion.

 

"How many people have seen them?"

 

Nick squeezed the sheet very hard. Sam was supposed to be angry, screaming, even crying, but not asking the heavyweight questions. “How your brain works? Don’t you know the words: Instinct, anger, or-”

 

“How many Nick?” Sam cut it .

 

Nick tensed and pushed Sam as far as he could in his position, he managed to grab his arm but ended up being forced again against the bed, a hand tightly clamping around his neck. Sam sat on his hips, weighing all his body on him.

 

Nick bucked a last time and finally gave up at the sign that Sam was a lot more compliant to hurt him than he was compliant to hurt Sam. “No one who didn’t have a freaking medicine degree.”

 

“Why me?”

 

It was a question that Nick was also wondering many times.

 

“I believe in you.” Was the only good answer he has, even it was not enough.

 

“Do you?” Muttered Sam, slipping a hand near to the back of Nick’s pants. He pulled the fabric, threatening.

 

For a few seconds, Nick hesitated to allow himself, in a kind of peace offering. The simple idea of it gave him nausea and he put his forehead against a pillow, thoughtful. “I don’t want it. But I would let you if it’s the only way I have to make amends.”

 

Sam got up slowly and sat on the edge of the bed, face’s low-pitched. “You know I wouldn’t do that.” He said, dryly.

 

Nick did not join the movement, staying still on the bed. “I know what people can do, under anger.”

 

“You should put a shirt on, I’m- I’m gonna have Dean coming here in a minute.” Sam stood up and reached the door. He looked for Nick a sad and disappointing light in his eyes while opening and he finally disappeared in the corridor.

 

When they came back, Nick was sitting on the bed. He turned his head and looked at them with a poker face. Dean answered the greeting by a yawn while Sam rolled his eyes.

 

“Do one of you can stop the bullshit and actually humour me about the situation?” He said, hand on his hips and angry face.

 

Dean and Nick shared the same ‘It’s not gonna end well’ stare.

 

After some arguing about Dick Roman and some more were Dean screamed at Nick for lying about being a cop what Nick answered that he was not a cop but an undercover agent from an Intelligence agency, quite different, they eventually found a common ground.

 

Maybe they deserved the heavy hit behind their head after the whole story and maybe Nick blushed as Sam suggested that he deserved a good spanking session.

 

“You too, you fucking don’t deserve me.” Sam muttered. But he puts a light hand on Nick’s shoulder, eyes gentle. “We will make it good, let’s kick some asses.”

 

After all, things could gone worst. Though Nick even he can see the slight show of betrayed in Sam’s hazel eyes. He keeps his breath low, full of hope, that he can make it right and that maybe one day Sam could look at him without any doubt.

 

A man lives by hope.


	11. Chapter eleven: That's I am on the good side

**Chapter eleven: That's I am on the good side**

 

Having Sam digging into his private life was surely the hardest to accept. Sitting on the coffee table Nick quietly sipped a beer while showing Dean the plans of the warehouses he had been able to create with his help. From time to time, his gaze diverged towards Sam's curved shape in a corner of the room. Not wanting to put words on the death of his family, Nick had given him the file hacked by Dean’s friend. But even then, separated by several meters from the incriminating papers, they functioned like a spell and he struggled to contain the memories buried for so long.

 

Dean moved uncomfortably beside him and he turned his attention back to the older Winchester. “What?” He asked when he saw the reason for the man’s behaviour.

 

Dean jumped a little, tensed. “What, what?”

 

Moving the picture of a man with dark hair and a long trench-coat on the table Nick put a smug smile. “You got a crush? He’s kinda cute.”

 

Dean immediately denied the idea and pout. “Calm down, dude. It’s just- I knew him.”

 

Nick frowned. “You know him? You mind to elaborate further?”

 

“He leads the operations of Dick, I receive my order from him.”

 

“This is a joke, it must be a joke.” Nick was almost laughing if he wasn’t on the edge of killing someone. “Castiel, you asshole.” He muttered as he grabbed his phone, calling a well-known number.

 

From where he was sitting Sam looked up at them. He feverishly put the file on the coffee table and slowly approached. At the end of the fourth ring he was in front of Nick and he put a trembling hand around his wrist. Nick had only the time to meet a pair of eyes widely open before a rocky voice answered the phone.

 

“Novak.”

 

“You need to get your pretty ass over here, I’m gonna kick your stupid angel face.” He shouts.

 

After a short silence, a simple “Nick?” answered him.

 

“Your ass, Winchester house, now.”

 

“This is very un-”

 

Nick did not wait for the end of the sentence and hung up. He turned slightly to meet Sam's eyes again. The young man looked like a wet, awfully sad and awkward puppy. For a long moment, they remained silent in the middle of the room, Dean mute behind them. Blood was beating in Nick’ temples, his heart was racing, and he closed his eyes for a few seconds, breathing deeply. "Later, okay? I-” he turned his face towards Dean. “We had something new.”

 

They sat on the couch and Nick showed them the pictures of the man. “This is Castiel, an agent placed inside Dick Roman’s organization for two years now. He is a very good agent, hardworking, awkward though. We made some progress with him but there’s the thing, he never tells us about you.” 

 

Dean remained still, a strange look on his face, the kind who said he might throw some punches soon. “Or he’s not on our side anymore. Or… something else. Whatever, we need him before we start anything.”

 

Carefully Nick turned his head to meet Sam’s eyes. “I need to clarify something to you, Sam. We talk about this with your brother.” He took a few second to let Sam clear his mind. “Dean will need a lawyer and it can’t be you. You’re aware of that, right? Someone who does not know him yet, who also know the risk of playing in this case. We will put this in front of my co-workers, but they won't gonna accept it easily. For avoiding prison, Dean surely needs to be a very important witness. There’s no way back of it, boys.”

 

Sam frowned, concentrated. “I think, maybe… Maybe Meg can do it.”

 

Behind them, Dean became very stiff and pale. He stayed in shock for a second and open his mouth like he wanted to scream, but only a short breath came out. “Are you insane? She hates me.”

 

“Who doesn’t?” Teased Nick.

 

Sam talked before Dean can put any fight. “She’s a shark, like in ‘i'm gonna eat your soul, for fun’. The case is interesting, she will do it.” He sounded confident, even for himself and he get a nod from Nick who started to write the information.

 

After some discussions, a sharp sound made them jump. Nick stood up and went to the front door, he opened it with a big smile. “Well hello there.” He leaned against a shorter man, his mouth almost kissing the white neck. “This is the story of a brave little soldier who falls in love with a cute prince, forced to do horrible things to protect his own. Of course, the brave little soldier is kinda numb and… Oh yes, forgets that people who do his job are here for… Oh, maybe helps persons like the cute prince?”

 

It was all sass and low revenge but when Nick get back to his original position, in front of Castiel, this one was awfully embarrassed, face red.

 

“Oh my. This is… actually funny.” Laughed Nick. “Come inside, we’re working to solve this shit.”

 

Solving was maybe premature. Dean was a way to busy trying to kill Castiel with his eyes while Castiel was managing to win a degree in avoiding every attention.  The situation would look kinda fun for an exterior eye if Nick and Sam were in a better mood. But they were not. This is why Nick called it over for the night, they will all get back to their occupation and with a complete file, Nick would present their work to his superior next morning. He left the Winchester house silently and headed up to his house, thinking of the case. When he entered his place he put every document on the table, ready to spend a very short night working.

 

A few hours later someone rang at his door, he put his cup of tea and slowly reach for the door handle, a hand on his weapon, wondering who could come so soon in the morning.He opened and the tall form of Sam Winchester appeared in the doorframe, the rain sounding loud in the background. The man looked shy, almost sorry for being here. Nick put his hand over the wet shoulders and brought him inside the safety of the house. “Hey big guy, did you walked here?”

 

Sam nodded slightly and leaned to put a short kiss on Nick’s cheek. “Can’t sleep.” He whispered against Nick’s skin.

 

Nick put a strong but comforting hand on Sam’s back. “You went through a lot lately. A big part is my fault though. I’m sorry.” His phrase just received a shrug.

 

“I’m not forgiving you but we can work on it, with time.” Muttered the younger man as he rested his forehead against Nick’s shoulder. “I need you, so we must get over it good and fast.”

 

Nick nodded and  grabbed Sam’s by the hand, leading him to the bedroom. He went looking for some clothes and throw them right on of Sam’s wet hairs. “Put that on you before you get sick.” Then he slid in his bed, ready to get some rest, gesturing at Sam to come with him. “I’m tired.”

 

It was not a bad thing to lay beside Sam even with the small discomfort due to the last events. Nick moved a little closer, trying to get more warmth, wanting nothing more than snuggle. His eyes were at the height of a shoulder as he was placed, near but far enough to not touch any part of Sam’s body. Suddenly Nick felt a hand  pet his hair as Sam broke the silence in a quiet tone. “How was she, Sarah?”

 

Nick wanted to hide his face against the pillows and smother here until death. Still, he rubbed his nose on Sam’s arm, looking for reassurance. “She was strong and quiet.” He breathed in, short and sharp. “Every time I get chaotic and sassy, she was just here, standing like a damn rock, waiting like I was a stubborn child.”

 

Somewhere very deep inside him, Nick wanted to laugh at the memory. He also wanted to cry to it. He choose to just bit his lower lip, not quite ready to talk about it. “She liked music, playing the piano. I never find out if there was a kind of food she did not like. Maybe she was just pretending liking every damn thing.” His eyes watered slowly. “She hit me one time when I came back home after 6 months on the mission. It was supposed to be just 4. She hated my job, kept saying that to be a soldier fitted me better, that I wasn’t meant for lying and faking.”

 

Nick did not know when his walls started to crumble but soon he was unable to stop the words and tears. “I was supposed to quit after Jack's birth. But the mission, it took so long and before I knew it- things grow bigger. Weapons trafficking, not the thing you want to go undercover. I couldn’t see the end of it, then I get it why; a traitor in the department. One of the big guys.” Sam’s hand came to gently stroke Nick’s cheek. “I had no choice but to keep up with it but I wasn't prepared to them bringing my family into it. When the general entered with them, holding my son I knew I couldn't do anything. It was over-” Nick cut his phrase with a sob, unable to speak anymore.

 

Sam held the man firmly in his arms, humming tenderly against blond hair. He, himself, was trying to forget the pictures of dead bodies he saw inside the files. Not an easy trick. He now understood better the black line in the files, obviously a high ranked traitor in the army wasn’t something you wanted to spill out of the world.


	12. Chapter twelve: The side where you stand

**Chapter twelve: The side where you stand.**

 

Sam was looking out the garage window, looking for an occupation. A few steps further, Nick and Dean checked that everything was in place for the operation. An agent stood by their side while writing on his phone. Sam should surely be with them, discussing the latest updates of the investigation but he felt far too nervous, unable to listen to the entire discussion. It will stick to the essentials.

 

Nick arrived behind Sam about ten minutes later and put a hand on the window sill. "You're ready? Castiel is in place, the surveillance and assault team have just left." He asked. Sam nodded slowly.

 

"Let's do that," Sam murmured, standing up and looking for support in his brother's face. Dean gave him a little smile before entering into a dark car, ready to be brought in a secured place.

 

The plan was simple, maybe a little too much for Sam's opinion. He kept thinking about how much everything could go wrong. He blinked briefly, surprised, when Nick put a hand on his shoulder.

 

"Everything is going to be fine," Nick said, benevolent and without a trace of doubt.

 

Sam realized suddenly and a little late that the whole situation was a mission with no major problems for Nick. The posture calm and relaxed, almost smiling, Nick seemed in his element. For Nick there was no doubt that it was a fight won in advance and with this idea in mind Sam tried vainly to let the pressure come down from his shoulders.

 

Nick took a few steps and sat on the hood of a car. He dusted a few grains of dust from the glowing car body, caring. "Do you want me to go through the pitch again?" He asked.

 

Sam shrugged. “Castiel informes Dick Roman about Dean’s disappearance, that he saw him leaving the garage in a rush with some agents. We are waiting for him to come here while we pretend to have an argument. During this awkard moment the team goes to look for evidences in the main building.”

 

A smile passed on Nick's lips and he gave a gentle laugh. "Good boys learn and recite their lesson, huh?" Sam narrowed his lips at this remark, but Nick continued. "Well, we could just wait for a moment when Dick Roman is away. But leaving as an usual day and leaving in an hurry thinking that there is a big problem in his organization is different."

 

"I know," Sam retorted, scowling. "I just cannot help but find that stupid."

 

"You have all the cards in hand, all the informations, of course your opinion is more enlightened on the issue than a trafficker who risks losing the work of a lifetime in an instant." Nick still tried to reassure Sam. "Stress makes people more able to make mistakes."

 

If Nick was right then Sam had every chance of reducing everyone's efforts to nothing, not a single part of his being were prone to calm. Sam walked over to the car all the same, standing close enough to Nick to touch his leg. "So, what should we have an argument on?" Sam said with a pout.

 

Nick raised a smirk at the edge of his lips. "Mh. I thought the principle was to pretend. "

 

Maybe it was the whole situation that gave Sam enough nerves, or just his usual sass but he stepped between Nick's legs and leaned slightly.

 

“I well remember promising to bend you on my knees and beat your ass all red. Liars deserve it the old fashion way.” Said Sam, bold. He raised his eyes to see the light blushed Nick’s face.

 

"This is not fair play." Whispered Nick passing a trembling hand through his blond hair. He adjusted his top a bit and put his hands on the hood of the car. "You needed to bring that back now, huh?"

 

Sam shrugged, clearly not feeling a bit sorry. "If you did not blush like a teenager I would almost say we could actually fight."

 

A slight laugh rolled down Nick's throat and he tilted his head curiously. "Is it a kink of yours?"

 

The question was more like teasing, but Sam answered with a smile. "Maybe," he said, articulating the word more than necessary.

 

Nick was obviously not a manipulable person, yet his consciousness was only built up for a brief moment before he let a resigned sigh escape him. His hands slipped from the car to Sam's legs and stood languid, caressing the rough cotton jeans. "A little make-out can have the same effect as a fight on them, maybe even better. If you're really interested in that. "

 

It was a bad idea that would join the long list of stupid things that Nick had already done on a whim but on the heat of the moment he did not care. He gently bit his bottom lip and glanced quickly at the garage door. "But we could keep spanking for a more ... private place?"

 

For a few moments Sam hesitated to push it, but this was something he wanted to do without any humiliation, he knew it well. Then he just nodded and leaned over to catch his lips in front of him and remove the smirk that had been tempting him for the last few minutes.

  
  


It was supposed to be great, all the frustration build up some fire in them but Sam stopped very quickly in front of Nick’s lack of reaction. He rested, forehead to forehead and looked for an answer in Nick’s blue eyes. Nick seemed unsure of himself, more open and almost scared like the night he had revealed being an agent. Sam suddenly realized that it was the first time they had touched so intimately since this day. Every move Nick had made himself to Sam was nothing to break any boundaries.

 

"Are you giving me the opportunity to get out of this relationship without trying to fight for it?" Sam replied coldly.

 

“I stop fighting a long time ago.” Nick slid his face into Sam's neck, almost hiding. “I lied to you, I played with your life and your feelings. I don’t even know why you’re still around. Should I fight? I don’t remember how I am supposed to do.”

 

Sam took Nick into his arms and kissed his short hair. “Usually it involved flowers, expansive food and a lot sugared speech. But I’m sure you can come with something.”

 

Nick’s hands brushed Sam’s ribs, hesitating, before falling back to the hips. He sighed deeply. “Stay with me, I need to learn how to love again.” The words ran against the skin of Sam’s neck, sending shivers to his spine.

 

Sam grabbed Nick’s face in his both hand and kissed him slowly. “It will do the trick.” He took Nick’s lower lip between his teeth and bit slightly, looking him in the eyes. “Definitely.” He muttered before kissing him a second time, longer.

 

It was lazy and affectionate, more to share a feeling of agreement than to initiate any kind of sexual act. Soon, they heard a car park in front of the garage. Sam panicked a bit, looking for help in Nick's amused eyes.

 

The time that the men arrived at the door Sam was already completely submerged by Nick’s effrontery. Nick had flung himself off his top, had opened his pants and lay languidly, lying on the hood, kissing Sam and humping him as if his life depended on it.

 

Fake make-out should not drive Sam that mad, full of desire and need. Yet even after the door was opened and a shocked noise sounded in the room, he found it difficult to stop his hands and lips from running through the languid body beneath him.

 

Nick moved awkwardly into the arms of Sam and he broke the kiss, panting. "Sam." He hissed between his teeth, looking embarrassed. He escaped another kiss and narrowed his eyes. "People, there are people!"

 

Sam shrugged and turned clearly annoyed, knowing fully it was a false embarrassment, while Nick dressed quickly, avoiding looking at the men in the doorway.

 

"The garage is closed." Sam complained.

 

A man of great stature, in a pearl gray suit walked a little among men. Sam recognized him, although he's only seen Dick Roman on the photo before. Clearly distraught by the scene he seemed to struggle to find his words. Sam decided to spare him this painful experience.

 

"What are you doing here?" He asked. He glanced at Nick, who had been standing behind him, still looking embarrassed but definitely protective, like a man who found it odd to find an army of people in a closed garage for hours.

 

Dick Roman pulled himself together, he smiled like a shark but politely to Sam and looked inside the garage. "Sorry for the intrusion ... I'm looking for Dean Winchester, he sent me a message to tell me that my car was ready."

 

Sam frowned. "Really? He did not say anything to me. Well, we have two chevrolets ready. I can get the papers, I guess. "

 

Behind him he felt Nick coming forward. Nick rested his chin on Sam's right shoulder. "Mh. You have the right to sign? "

 

"The garage was our father, legally I have the same right as Dean in the company. I sometimes help, just a lot less since I started working. " Sam turned to the man in a suit. "Your name?"

 

Dick Roman gave a polite smile, but a little hesitantly. "The contract must be under the name of the company. Leviathan. "He squeezed his hands together and stepped forward a few more steps. "I really need this car. Dean promised me wonders. "

 

Nick gave a little laugh knowing perfectly what Roman wanted in this car. "I'm more Cadillac myself." He gained a surprised look from Sam and he winked playfully.

 

Nick felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he squeezed Sam's shoulder.  _ Now _ , he thought.

 

A wad of paper in his hands Sam turned to Roman. "Okay, I'm going to need some documents, here's the list and here's a signature." He headed for a door at the back of the room. "Your Corvette is in box 4, over here."

 

If Sam was nervous about being alone with a criminal, he did not show it, giving Nick a spark of pride.

 

Nick stayed a good silent minute, letting the discomfort grow in the room. He picked up his phone and pretended to write a message before nodding. He screamed loud enough to be heard from the other box. "Sam, come here!"

 

An excuse was heard from the other room and Sam arrived quickly, a curious look on his face. "What?" Sam asked.

 

"Charlie is in front of my house, I should go, you still have for a long time?"

 

"No no. 5 minutes at most." Sam turned his face to the box 4 door, he should be gone long enough for Roman to get what he had come looking for in the car. Nick though for himself that hiding transaction document in another business that yours was a stupid move. But, it kind of help them, so why not.

 

Dick Roman entered back in the central room, looking almost smug. “I’m sorry, Dean does not warn me about some of the papers. I should come back another day with them. unfortunately. It’s a real beauty here.” He said, sounding too much happy.

 

Sam approached Nick, unsure of what to do next. At his side, Nick gave him a reassuring smile.

 

"I guess ... you want me to leave a message to Dean?"

 

Roman was already almost out, miming his men to move. He shook his head disdainfully. "It will not be necessary. Have a nice day, Sam. "

 

He did not take two steps outside before one of the men exclaimed: "Boss!" Before shutting up, cut off by an agent's speech.

 

Sam only heard vague words from where he was: arrest, murder, traffic, evidences, but he felt a wave of relief fill his being. "It's over?" He asked.

 

"Not quite," Nick answered. "Even with the evidences found in his base and with the information held by the time Castiel spend down there, there’s still a chance for him to get out out it. But at least, your brother can hope to be a free man again."


	13. Chapter thirteen: Until it becomes our side.

** Chapter thirteen: Until it becomes our side. **

 

Being under close witness protection program was boring. Sam could not do anything without having an agent behind him, had to plan everything in advance and the whole situation was starting to test his nerves. None of this helped in addition to the behaviour of Dean, who was in the same state of mind, if not worse.

 

The apartment in which they had been placed was not very young and despite their childhood spent on the road without any privacy, the lack of barrier had become a problem now that they had become accustomed to the comfort of a house.

 

Without the ability to run fun in bars and working as before, Dean looked like a caged animal. He became more aggressive and invasive from day to day.

 

Sam began to make himself smaller, silent. Trying to escape as much as possible from the storm that threatened to burst. One night when he came back from his office he stopped abruptly when he saw Dean's slouched form on the couch, a beer on the coffee table. Dean's sharp resemblance to John hit Sam hard and he tensed, an unwanted feeling of fear invading his chest. Dean raised his face to the entrance and opened his mouth to speak, but Sam stepped back quickly and left the apartment eagerly, his hands shaking. He tried to erase the image of his mind, to ignore the serious sound of the voice of his father beating in his ears, "Son" but nothing helped.

 

The agents watching the hideout get out of the car, worried.

 

"Sam? Is everything ok?" Asked the taller of the two.

 

"Nick. I want to see Nick. Need it."

 

"You know very well that we can not do that. We do not have anyone to take you to his place. No protection, no way out."

 

Benny did not want to be mean, Sam knew that very well. The man had managed the feat of making Dean warm up in his presence. Feat. But Sam was not in his usual state and he was going to earn his right to see Nick, even if he had to use all the patience of the two agents.

 

"Make him come then. And now. "He ordered like a petulant child. His whole face tightened in a sign that he would not back down on this.

 

The problem was that the agents also had every reason to be stubborn. The first reason was their work. Soon the tone went up and Sam felt himself becoming more and more unstable, he blew in an attempt to regain his senses after the tone was escalated.

 

"If I leave, now. You do not have the right to stop me, right?" It was low from him, Sam knew it.

 

Benny seemed hurt by the comment. "Really Sam, do you realize what you're doing?"

 

"Or you made Nick come here or you let me go, with the risks that it incur."  Said Sam.

 

A hand on his belt, Benny shook his head, almost disappointed in Sam. "He may not be under protection like you, but there are still risks for him too." The voice low, Benny was trying to reason Sam with the face of a man knowing when a battle is lost in advance.

 

On the landing, Sam swallowed and his eyes were lost in the void before returning to the agent who had been protecting him for two months. "I need to see him."

 

Benny turned to the other agent. “Dear, mind to call the man?”

 

Sam rested against the door, hiding his trembling hands in the pockets of his coat. He bit his lip, trying to ignore the look in Benny's eyes, which was difficult when the man made a point of keeping his eyes in his.

 

"What’s happening up there? It's just like you saw a ghost. "

 

Sam did not answer, turning his head and standing completely straight in a sign of defence. The posture was clearly saying, ‘back off’ and that's what Benny did with a small shrug. Sam watched the two agents from afar and silently waited for long hours.

 

Midnight was long past when Nick's tall figure rushed into the street. He seemed tired, even from afar and Sam felt a surge of guilt tightening his chest. Nick first approached the two men in uniforms, handed them two coffees with a weary smile. A nod later and Nick walked to Sam, when he was close enough to the door the porch lit up and Sam squinted at the sudden aggression of his retinas.

 

Nick stands in front of Sam for a few seconds, unwilling to offer a single sign of joy at seeing him. Then he sighed and finally spoke. “Who deserves a red ass now?”

 

Sam glared at him. "Really? I'm not sure you want to debate this now. "

 

Nick ignored the reflection and pointed to the door. “Mh. Mind to move? It’s freezing ou there.”

 

“It’s an old building, you’ll be freezing inside too.”

 

A frustrated sound escaped Nick, he clasped his hands tightly and moved closer to Sam until their torsos brushed against each other. He narrowed his eyes, astonished to see Sam with that kind of behaviour. “You look like shit.” It was not a nice thing to say, but if Sam wanted a fight then Nick was able to give him a good one.

 

But Sam's austere facade broke quickly. He glanced at the service car in the driveway and his hands grabbed the front of Nick's coat forcefully. "I can not go up."

 

Nick moved to hide Sam from any view with his body. “But it’s good if you are with me right? Nothing bad will happen. Come on, you need to warm up, you’re like an icecube.”

 

There was a moment of hesitation on Sam's face before he took the offered hand and stepped into the building. The beating of his heart, which had calmed down, came back to him as he climbed the first steps of the staircase. He tried to focus on Nick's form in front of him, as a support.

 

When they arrived in front of the door Nick did not even turn to Sam before opening the door wide and rushing inside. He immediately found Dean, lying on the couch, completely drunk, and ignored him in favour of the small corridor leading to the rooms.

 

There was a time when Dean was holding Sam's hand like Nick was doing it. A time when Dean whispered to him to make less noise, head down and hurrying to the nearest closed room. The situation was different though, at the time Dean protected him with the face of a person knowing that the punishment would come back on him while Nick walked in front of him with the assurance of a person more apt to give the blow than to take it.

 

The room was small, consisting of a single bed, a closet and a shelf so little that Sam had to put some of his books in piles on the floor.

 

Nick did not take the time  to look at the room and sat directly on the bed. He took off his coat and laid it on the floor next to him. “Still look like shit. I don’t know what happens but you clearly need it, so take it Sam.”

 

Sam frowned, full of incomprehension. “What?”

 

“If I say no, then you stop. But until this word, you can take all the control you need.”

 

Sam felt his cheeks burn but remained standing against the door of his room.

 

Nick raised his eyebrows at Sam's reaction. "Didn't you say I deserved a spanking?" He said with a smirk.

 

At that, all the barriers of Sam crambled and he quickly advanced to the bed, catching Nick's face with both hands and dragging him into a deep kiss. He lingered a bit on the strong jaw with a sigh in Nick's neck. “No humping. I am clear?”

 

Nick smiled openly. “No humping.”

 

Sam sat on the bed and kissed Nick one last time before spreading him across his thighs. He put a strong, reassuring hand on Nick's neck and lower back, testing his position. “Good?” He asked.

 

“Yes, I am good,” Nick said, laying down more comfortably on Sam's legs.

 

Nick seemed too smug for his own good and Sam narrowed his eyes, a little unhappy. "You'll want to count for me," Sam ordered while lowering Nick's pants and boxers under his buttocks.

 

Nick only made a small sound of affirmation. It took him a half-minute to understand that nothing would happen before he was more vocal about his consent.

 

“Yes.”

 

The word was apparently enough for Sam and he shot his hand without further delay. Nick bit his lips in surprise and rested his forehead against the blanket. Obviously, Sam was the heavy hand type of man.

 

“One.”

 

The second one fell with the same force, slapping efficiently the other cheek and earning another soft sound.

 

“Two.”

 

Sam’s left hand stayed like a rock on Nick’s neck, holding him strongly. “You’re kinda cute spread like that on me.”

 

Nick laughed lightly. “You have to work on your- Damn!” He panted as a third spank hit him. “Three.” He whispered, caught off guard.

 

“On my what?” Asked Sam, smug, then go for two short and fast new hits.

 

Nick knew better than to answer him and he just kept his breathing steady as he counted. “Four. Five.”

 

“Good boy.” Sam praised. It was something to have the man opened like this to him. He landed his hand again, enjoying the sound of the act as the one escaping Nick’s mouth.

 

“Six.” This time Nick’s voice was tainted with desire and his breath started to sound higher.

 

“Fuck, I could keep you like that all day.” Sam spoked fast, glad that Nick can’t saw him blushing from his position. Under him, Nick gave a small laugh but didn’t take the bait and stayed silent, waiting for the next hit.

 

“I would miss that clever mouth of yours. But, well they're other pleasure in life.” Continued Sam, voice low. He grabbed forcefully a cheek in his hand earning an offended yelp and started to spank Nick with a steady rhythm.

 

At the end of twenty, Nick was hard against his tight, his breath heavy and melted with moans.

 

“You’re doing great Angel,” Sam whispered, stroking Nick's red ass for a few moments.

 

Nick moaned loudly at the nickname and moved his hips against Sam's thighs. A spanking stronger than the others stopped him in his motion and he let out a trembling breath.

 

“Apologize. Twenty-one.”

 

“Accepted.” Was the only thing Sam said before going back to business.

 

At the end of thirty, Nick’s ass was red as it can be, spread by finger’s along his crack and hole. Nick whined and moaned. “Wasn’t a part of the deal.” He managed to say, trying really hard to not move against Sam’s tights.

 

Sam smiled and moved his fingers slowly, never putting enough pressure to force the passage.

 

"Fuck you." Nick grimaced, opening his legs tightly, quickly blocked by the thong of his pants. He swore.

 

"Ten more then." Settled Sam.

 

“Wait. Wait a second.” Asked Nick, voice tense.

 

Sam put a worried look on Nick’s form in his arms. “Are you okay?”

 

Nick turned his face against the blanket, enough to see Sam's worried face from the corner of his eye. "I don’t think I can take it." He closed his eyes.“It starts to hurt, kinda bad.”

 

“You want me to stop, did you need something to drink?” Sam stammered.

 

Nick found it cute and he put his head back to the blanket. “Are you serious? I’m hot as hell right now, you better let me cum before doing any aftercare.” If the end of his sentence was more a whine than anything Nick would never admit it.

 

Sam bit the inside of his cheek so as not to laugh and his hand left Nick's neck. "Okay, come here." He says, starting to help Nick get up.

 

“What are you doing?” Nick asked after a few kisses, gripping Sam's arm as he came dangerously close to his groin.

 

“I was going for the handjob,” Sam whispered, searching the blonde's lips again.

 

“Dear God. You are something else.” Nick's voice was dismayed as if he could not believe what was happening. He bit the rim of Sam's jaw without much sweetness and grabbed his second wrist. "Look at me." He ordered, staring into Sam's hazel eyes. “If you don’t fuck me now, I’ll never let you near of my ass again.”

 

The realization shone in Sam's wide-open eyes as if the thought had never occurred to him. Nick put his forehead against the neck offered in front of him and his shoulders clenched as he held the biggest laugh in his life, or not. After a few seconds he burst out laughing, tears in his eyes, laughing without being able to stop. Sam pushed him several times, vexed, but nothing worked until he was tired and scowling with the reaction. Sam forced him against the bed and overhanging him to his full height.

 

“Stop laughing will you?”

 

Nick squeezed his lips, bright eyes and rosy cheeks. “You had your damn finger trying to push inside, and- and you never thought about it?”

 

Sam blushed strongly. "I can fix that."

 

Definitely, he could and Nick helped him enthusiastically pushing himself on Sam's fingers, saying a litany of: now, there, more to the left, put it in or I'll come on your fingers, damn inside you moron. Sam had never thought he would one day attempt to gag someone during the act.

 

When Sam finally pushed Nick, slowly and cautiously he forced his hand against the overly demanding mouth, firstly it was a question but Nick's eyes went close and he moaned against his hand. Sam swallowed in front of the image and began a slow but deep rhythm, enjoying the pleasure plastered on Nick's face, his body moving sensually against his. Nick came first, held on the edge of pleasure for far too long, he kissed gently and relentlessly the fingers holding his moan in while Sam fucked him throughout his climax.

 

Sam did not hold long after it and he lets himself come inside Nick with a cry. Holding the man tight in his arms. They rested for some minutes, body against body, all warm and lazy then Nick poked Sam’s ribs slightly, annoying him until he turned his head.

 

“What?” Sam groaned.

 

“My ass hurt.” Complains Nick, an adorable pout on his face.

 

Sam opened his eyes wide and got up quickly, panic settled and he ran to the door before coming back to put pants on. "I-I'm going to get a balm. And water. Some water." he breathed heavily. “Oh my god I spank you.”

 

On the bed Nick was laying on his belly, awfully happy with the all situation. “And you fucked me good.”

 

“You’re not helping at all.”

 

“I did a fair part of it.”

 

“NICK.” Yelled Sam, blushing and fighting to get his shirt on. In the corridor, he was still hearing the sound of Nick laugh.

 

A sound that Nick wasn’t making a few days later during the first trial as he sat with a wince of pain in front of the court. From where he was standing in the room Sam smile, kinda proud of him. By the end of the day the smile was still on Sam’s face as Meg beaten down every argument of the defense with talent and fierce.

 

Things do not had to be perfect, they just have to be enough.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> It's my first work in english, so I'm sure I did a lot of mistake, even in the plot. If you find one, please tell me, that I can improve my writting! I'm almost sorry to post it. I'm affraid acutally. Haha. Life.


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